All About Your Heart
by blu3crush
Summary: It's all about your heart. The journey where Grissom and Sara find their way back into each other's heart. Co-winner to CSIFO June 2015 FF Challenge (How it should all end)! GSR.
1. Chapter 1

**_All About Your Heart_**

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This story is for the CSIFO June Fanfic Challenge. Please go read other entries (katyrye and CSIVegasRocks – very talented writers but I refrain from reading their entries now because of I am afraid that I might get ideas from theirs stories. I shall read them after I finish this.) and join CSIFO (on both wikifoundry and facebook page). Though I am not very active over in either facebook or wikifoundy but it's fun to have an online CSI family.

The title is a song title, All About Your Heart by Mindy Gledhill. I love that song! Go listen to it on youtube. I felt that the song is quite apt for Grissom's and Sara's relationship.

I hope that I can finish this before the deadline. This is how I would like CSI to end. *chanting* GSR GSR GSR. GSR is my OTP!

* * *

 **Prologue**

 ** _September 2015_**

Catherine smiled brightly as she walked into the familiar building. Three years had passed since she took up the FBI job. She never regretted her decision as the job gave her immense sense of satisfaction and recognition she deserved. But she also missed the easy camaraderie between her ex-colleagues and her. She was glad that she had another chance to work with them again.

"Miss Willows" Judy greeted her enthusiastically. "They are waiting for you in the layout room."

She thanked Judy and accepted the pass from her.

"You look great! FBI had changed you." Judy gushed. Catherine shook her head gently and sashayed her way to the layout room.

When she reached the layout room, she paused to check her makeup and smooth her blouse. FBI had not changed one aspect of her which was femininity. Despite working in a cutthroat, Testosterone filled, and femininity was frowned upon environment, she had not lost her femininity.

She knocked and pushed the door open.

"Catherine, looking great," Russell came over and pulled her into a hug. Greg and Morgan came forward to give her a welcome embrace. Russell introduced her to Finn, who replaced her as the Assistant Supervisor. Finn's expertise was also blood splatter analysis. They chatted a little, updating her about their life after she left for Washington.

She was not surprised when Greg told her that he was in a serious relationship with Morgan. She had seen the looks Greg had on whenever Morgan waltzed into the room. She could not believe that Hodges was now a CSI in training, thanks to Wendy. Wendy came back to fill up Nick's vacancy as a CSI Level Two.

"Where's Sara?" she asked, realizing that Sara was not in the room. She had a surprise in stall for Sara.

"She's with the doctor," Greg answered, and took a glimpse at the clock behind her, "she will be here in another fifteen minutes."

"Is she okay?" Her concerns grew. Though Sara and she did not share a close friendship, but she did care for Sara. She had learned about her separation with Grissom through Brass. Brass had told her explicitly not to butt into their business, but she could not resist. They were the strangest lovers she ever met.

She pulled a few strings to get Grissom to work this case with her. Grissom was especially reluctant and threatened to end his friendship with her. But he was unable to turn down the request of a high-ranking agent whom he owed a favor to.

"Yes. She is fine. When she is here, you will know," Greg winked knowingly. She frowned as she did not like being kept in the dark. "Then why is she with the doctor?" she questioned again.

"It's a surprise for you," Morgan quipped.

"Let's start the briefing." Russell gently pushed her to the layout table. "Wait, we're still expecting someone."

It was their turn to frown. "Who're we waiting for?" Greg asked.

"Someone you all know." She smiled smugly.

"Hey guys, I am so, so sorry." Sara apologized as she toddled into the layout room. "My OB wanted me to do a few more tests."

Catherine could not contain her shock as a pregnant Sara stood before her. She clasped her hands over her mouth. She definitely regretted being nosy now.

"Hey," Sara came over, wanting to give Catherine a hug.

Catherine backed away. "You're pregnant."

"Yes, I am." Sara laughed. "Who's the father?" Catherine inquired, her tone a few pitches higher.

Sara stared at Catherine. The room fell into an uneasy silence.

"Oh my god Sara! How could you do this to Grissom? You're such a slut." Catherine berated angrily.

Greg immediately stood between Sara and Catherine, pulling Sara behind him, protecting Sara from Catherine further harsh comments. Tears seeped out from Sara's eyes. She swiped at her eyes harshly.

"She doesn't owe you an explanation. Sara and Grissom were separated." Greg exhaled irately.

Catherine folded her arms across her chest, "I should have never pulled strings to get Grissom to work on this case."

"I am sorry. The flight got delayed. I came as soon as the plane touched down." Grissom entered the layout room, with his small luggage in tow.

Sara gripped onto Greg's hands tighter. "Greg…" Sara felt faintish. Her knees buckled as she crashed down to the floor.

"Sara!" They all shouted. Grissom ran over, wanting to scoop Sara up. He was stopped by Greg. "Not you, Grissom," Greg said through gritted teeth.

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Thanks for reading! So let me know what your thoughts are. It's a GSR story, so don't worry!


	2. Chapter 2

**\- Chapter 1 -**

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Sorry for taking so long to update this story. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you. This should be a short story, not more than 5 or 10 chapters. Unless I become a naggy person. :) Sorry if this chapter doesn't read okay. Let me know how you feel about this chapter.

* * *

 ** _April 2015_**

Sara looked up at the tall building before her and squinted as the rays of sunlight streamed down from the cloudless sky. It had been almost fifteen years since she last stepped into this building. She had readily agreed when Russell needed to send a senior CSI to a forensic conference. She volunteered herself. She wanted to take a few days off from work.

What she did not expect was the forensic conference was held in the very same building where she first met Grissom. When Russell told her the venue, it was too late to withdraw. She knew that Russell could either send Greg or Morgan if she voiced out her discomfort but she did not want to blur the line between her professional and private life. She soldiered on and came.

She regretted not voicing her uneasiness to Russell. She did not think that this place would evoke so many emotions in her, but it did. It reminded the good, and happier times she shared with Grissom. They had shared so much pleasant memories here. She remembered taking him to her secret hideout and him kissing her forehead as they watched the sun set.

Her heart constricted. Unshed tears stung her eyes. She blinked hard and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.

She told herself she would never cry for Grissom after they finalized their divorce two years ago. He flew back to Vegas for a day to sign the papers. She could not believe how simple their divorce was. He relinquished all the bonds and the house in Vegas they had in their name to her and she gave up alimony and the house in Santa Monica he inherited from his mother.

He signed the papers quickly and emotionlessly.

She could not describe the bitterness she had in her heart as she signed the papers. She wanted to tell him that his one-sided decision was affecting her. She wanted to update him about her recent altercation with Ronald Basderic and how Basderic almost ruined her life. She swallowed all her words when their eyes met briefly. His blue eyes no longer emitted the warmth she used to feel in the past.

He left immediately after the lawyer checked the papers, stating that he had to rush for a flight back to China. He did not even bade her goodbye.

Till now, she had not figured why Grissom wanted a divorce. He did not give her a reason behind his decision. All he told her was that she deserved someone better and younger. She scoffed when he told her the feeble reason over the phone. If she had wanted someone younger, she would not pursue him for years. She would have left for the FBI when she asked for a leave of absence. She would have chosen Greg over him if she wanted someone younger. He did not understand that all she wanted was him, the quirky scientist who loved bugs.

She let out a resigned sigh and composed herself.

"Sara?"

She whipped around. "Grissom."

She did not expect seeing him here. The last update she got about him was from Hodges. Hodges boasted to everyone in the lab who bothered to listen that Grissom sent him an email from Egypt.

Her heart was thumping madly in her chest. She found herself shivering.

"Why are you here?" She felt breathless.

"I just finished my project in Egypt. The organizer of this conference was a friend of mine. He asked if I could share my expertise." He answered simply. "You okay?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah. Yeah. Why?"

"You're shivering," he ran his fingers down Sara's arm slowly. Sara jumped back frightened and backed a few steps from him. "Don't touch me," she uttered.

He took a few steps towards her, closing the distance between them. "You okay?" he asked again, wanting to touch her forehead to see if she had a temperature.

"Grissom!" she raised her voice a few notches. "Don't do this to me."

"What?" he sounded innocent and confused.

"Showing your concern to me. We're divorced. You choose to walk away from me." She backed to a corner of the wall and wrapped her arms around her torso.

"Sara. I…" Grissom was interrupted by a high pitch voice.

"Gilbert," a woman in her late thirties with delicate features ambled over towards them in her impossibly high heels. Despite being in high heels, she only reached around Grissom's shoulder. She flashed a huge grin to Grissom and looped her arm over Grissom's. She leaned in intimately. "We're going to be late."

She turned towards Sara's direction, and finally willingly recognized Sara's presence. "Miss, Gilbert and I are going to be late for our seminar. Gilbert did not like being late."

Grissom tried to pull his hands out of her grip but failed as she held on tightly.

"Oh, I forget to introduce myself. I am Ursula Cohen. Gilbert's partner in this seminar." She smiled haughtily at Sara and batted her long, curly and thick eyelashes.

"And, you are?" Ursula gave Sara a once over. She did not wait for Sara to answer. "You know, it's okay. We're rushing for time. Hope to see you again. Please come for OUR seminar." She emphasized on 'our'.

Ursula pulled Grissom away and brisk walked into the building with Grissom tottering behind.

Sara finally understood the real reason why Grissom asked for a divorce. It was not because he wanted the best for her but because he had found someone younger, and prettier to replace her.

The sky above her rumbled. Tiny drops of rains splattered her face.

She could not no longer differentiate between the droplets on her face were raindrops or tears.

* * *

There was more to meet the eyes.

Thank you for all the reviews you had taken the time to leave. I appreciate each and every one of them. Thank you again.

I am thinking of focusing on Sara and Grissom's part. Thus, this story might not involve the elements of the case. :)


	3. Chapter 3

\- Chapter 2 -

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Sorry for the slow update, I had a minor writer block, despite having the story mapped out. =_= It always happened to me.

I do apologize if I made any factual mistakes/ continuous error for Season 10 as I have not watched that season yet. I am thinking of explaining what happened in Season 10 period to offer an explanation of why Grissom wanted a separation. I hope this is still doing okay. Nonetheless, please review, let me know your thoughts. They definitely motivate me! :)

Thank you for staying with me!

* * *

 ** _Mid August 2009_**

Sara crept to the balcony where Grissom was standing. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts. She watched him for a few moments quietly before snaking her hands around his midsection. She rested her chin on his shoulder and her head leaned against his head. She savored this moment greedily as it was her last day in Paris.

The corners of Grissom's mouth tugged upwards into a soft smile and welcomed the beautiful intrusion. He inhaled deeply, taking in Sara's unique scent, a blend of refreshing cucumber and citrusy lime. He would miss her scent when she is gone.

Sara would be leaving for Vegas tomorrow. Ecklie had called a few weeks ago, asking him for a recommendation. The lab seemingly to be in shambles after Catherine took over. Riley had left, citing Catherine as the main reason. Riley doubted Catherine's leadership skills and accepted another position in the Midwest. The lab also underwent budget cuts after Warrick's death.

He did not have anyone in mind. He discussed the situation with Sara and she volunteered to go back on a temporary basis.

He was taken aback when Sara suggested she could go back to the lab while they were waiting for the research grant. He was perplexed with her decision as it was Sara who was adamant about leaving the lab, and Las Vegas.

When he asked her to stay with him for a few months after Warrick's funeral, she could not do it. She had to leave. It broke his heart and their relationship then. Yet, now, she jumped at the chance of leaving him to go back to Las Vegas. Her choice did not sit well with him.

"Honey, are you sure about this? Going back to the lab?" he asked, pulling her hand away from his waist gently. He turned to face her. This was the first time he asked about her decision. Truth be told, he was not supportive of her going back to the lab on a temporary basis.

After he joined her in Costa Rica, they talked about the lab and Las Vegas. She told him she was not keen of going back. She felt suffocated. She was tired of death constantly shoving into her face. Las Vegas had never been her home.

The only reason she went to Vegas was because he asked her to. She stayed because he offered her a job and a hope of a relationship.

"You don't want me to go back?" Sara asked.

"If I ask you to stay, would you?" Grissom replied with a question.

Sara thought about Grissom's question. She let out a small sigh before answering. "I will stay if you ask me to."

Grissom's heart constricted slightly. He did not want her to stay because of a request from him. He wanted her to stay because it was her choice and not his. He did not want influence her.

"No. I just want you to think if this is what you want." Grissom shrugged and walked into their small living room. They had come to Paris after the research project in Costa Rica ended. Initially, their intention was to stay in Paris for a few weeks for their honeymoon and rest. Their agenda was to explore Paris. They visited different museums and immersed themselves in the rich culture.

Their stay stretched on when Sorbonne invited him to conduct a few seminars after learning he was in Paris for leisure and eventually giving him a permanent position. His seminars were popular. He had asked the Dean if there were any available positions for Sara. However, Dean had subtly hinted that Sara did not have the experience to be consider for a teaching position.

Sara did not seem to mind the arrangement, instead she embraced it. She told him that she loved the change. She did not need to deal with death, and no more saying 'I am sorry for your loss' to family members. She did not mind being just Grissom's wife in Paris. She was contented to just being Mrs. Sara Grissom. With her assurance, he devoted himself in his work.

She followed him into the living room and settled onto the sofa next to Grissom.

"I have thought about it. It will be a temporary solution. I need a job too. I can't stay here doing nothing. It's just not me to idle around. Our savings would ultimately deplete," Sara took Grissom's hands into hers gently. She drew small circles on his palm. She hoped he could understand her reasons.

He sighed. "A few months ago, you told me that Vegas and the lab reminded you of only death. You were not keen about going back there even after we are done with our honeymoon. What changes your mind now?"

Sara frowned.

"I just being realistic and logical. Paris is an expensive city. Even you have a job now, but we could not afford stay here indefinitely with just only your pay. Most importantly, I will be only helping out the lab for a few months. When they find a permanent replacement, I will be back." Sara sounded cross. She could not understand why Grissom was being so unsupportive.

Grissom stood up and started pacing around the small space.

"After Warrick's funeral, when I asked you to stay, you could not do it. But why now, you could just go back to Vegas so easily? It just seemed that you could bear to be with me after Natalie Davis and Hannah West. You blamed me for revealing our relationship to the team. You blamed me for moving you to Swing. Sara, I offered to move to Swing. You told me that you could not do that to the team. And most importantly, you held me responsible for what Natalie Davis did to you. I was the target. She wanted me to suffer mentally, but you were the one who suffered both physically and mentally."

Sara drew a sharp breath. Tears brimmed in her eyes, threatening to fall any moment.

"I could not believe you said that." Sara swallowed the lump in her throat. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I never blamed you for what Natalie Davis did to me. I volunteered to go to Swing because I know the team needed you more than me. I always put you before me."

Grissom reached out for Sara's hands but she pushed his hands away.

"Sara…"

"No. Let me finish." Sara folded her arms across her chest. "Do you know how dejected I was when I learned that I was not offered a position in Sorbonne because I did not have the required experience. You overlooked my feelings when you started to devote yourself in work again. I thought I could be Mrs. Grissom but I could not. It's simply not me. It's killing me inside whenever you narrated your fulfilling day to me. All I could offer was what recipes I had tried and the trips I made to the farmer's market. I felt that we were drifting apart. I felt that you were no longer attracted to me because I could not match you intellectually. It just seemed that you no longer desire me. Could you still remember the last time we made love to each other? Have you forgotten about our plan about having a baby?" Sara expressed about her deepest fears and resentment.

Grissom froze. He could not remember the last time they were intimate. The last few weeks, he was busy settling into his new job. Dean had him attended a few dinners to build rapport with other departments. The days where he did not need to entertain, he was preparing the next semester materials. He typically just crashed on their bed when he completed his tasks. He declined Sara's advances, citing that he was drained. They discussed about having a baby after they reunited in Costa Rica. The plan was after their honeymoon, they would return to US for fertility testing. The plan was however shelved when he offered a teaching position in Sorbonne.

"You can't remember." Sara heaved a resigned sigh.

Grissom tugged Sara into an embrace. "I'm sorry." He apologized and pressed his lips on her forehead.

"Gil… I just need to be myself again." Sara whispered, and linked her arms around his neck.

Grissom nodded, "I understand. Come, let me love you." He pulled her into their bedroom and showed his love to her.

Despite understanding Sara's need to be herself again, Sara's leaving planted a seed deep within his heart that Sara could leave him easily. She had done it not once, or twice but thrice.

* * *

 ** _Late November 2009_**

Sara took out the used pregnancy stick from her small carryon and looked at it happily. The two blue lines stared back at her. She remembered sitting in the lab's washroom with a cup in her hand. She was shivering when she dipped the dropped into the cup of pee. She quavered as she placed a small amount of her pee onto the test stick. It was the longest five minutes she had ever waited. She almost jumped up in excitement when the two lines slowly appeared before her eyes.

She went to see a doctor immediately to get her pregnancy confirmed. The returned blood test result erased any doubts she had. She was elated. Her spirit was not dampened despite knowing that her was a high-risk pregnancy. She asked if she could fly as she wanted to share the news with Grissom personally. Her doctor cleared her as her baby was stable and she was starting her second trimester.

She booked a flight to Paris when she returned from the clinic. She did not tell Catherine or the team about her pregnancy because she wanted Grissom to be the first to know. She simply took two weeks off from the lab.

Before she left for the flight, she bought a pair of white mittens and booties and placed them neatly into an ornate wooden box. She wanted to give Grissom a surprise.

When she walked out of the arrival hall, she saw Grissom waving at her enthusiastically. She returned him with a huge grin on her face. He welcomed her with a snug hug and unwilling to relinquish her from his hold. He only did so when she coughed.

"I'm sorry." He laughed sheepishly. He took her carryon from her hands and clasped his free hand over hers. "I miss you. Skype chats were simply not enough."

They rode back to the apartment in comfort silence. As soon as Grissom reversed the car into the parking lot, he pulled Sara out of the car and urged her to follow his footsteps.

When they were within their safe confines, Grissom showered kisses on Sara, making a trail from her forehead to her belly. He undressed her slowly, leaving her in only his favorite undergarments. He unclasped her bra and gently slid the straps down her arms and threw them on the floor. He beamed when her pink buds was pert and inviting. Sara purred when he suckled one of her breasts gently. He dipped his hand into her panties. Sara moaned as he rubbed her erected clit with his long, slender finger.

"Gilbert… please…" she pleaded.

"Bed… not here." she was shaking uncontrollably. He nodded and carried her into their room. He wasted no time to strip himself after placing Sara on their bed gently. He rolled her panties down her long legs slowly. He gently nudged her legs open. He kneeled between her legs. Wrapping her legs around his torso, he thrust into her. Sara let out an ecstatic scream when he was inside of her. He alternated his thrusts between slow and quick, deep and shallow. He only released himself when she finally climaxed.

"I love you, Sara." He panted and collapsed beside her.

"I have something for you," Sara wrapped herself with a blanket. She walked to the living room to retrieve her carryon.

"What is that?" Grissom asked. Sara jumped, startled by Grissom's sudden appearance. She hid the wooden box and her pregnancy kit behind her back.

Sara took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "Are you okay?" He closed the distance between them and looked at her intently.

Sara swallowed as she revealed what she was hiding.

Grissom blinked a few times, then his eyes widened in pleasant surprise.

"I am pregnant," Sara cried.

"I am going to be a father," Grissom yelped happily. He picked Sara up easily and twirled her around.

* * *

 **To Be Continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

_I am not very good at writing romantic/ sweet scenes. I hope this satisfies. Let me know how you feel and let me know if you want to see Lady Heather in this story. Well, she would be back in the finale. Damn it. So, I am thinking should I incorporate her in. Let me know if the scenes between Grissom and Sara are awkward. Thank you and have a nice weekend!_

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\- Chapter 3 -

* * *

 ** _Late November 2009_**

After Grissom calmed down, he placed Sara down gently and pulled her into an embrace. Tears were running down his cheeks uncontrollably. They were tears of happiness. He never thought he would have chance to become a parent. Before Sara, he always felt that he would lead a lonely life. He had missed those opportunities of his life because he devoted his time and energy building his career.

"Thank you," he whispered into Sara's ears. "Thank you for giving me a chance to be a husband, and a father."

Sara smiled as she caressed his left profile with her fingertips. "No. You don't need to thank me. Gilbert. It should be me. You gave me a home. I never told anyone this but since young, I always wanted a home filled with love. And, you gave me that."

Sara lived in a volatile home where her parents mood swung between both extremities. They could be having dinner together where her mother made her favorite potato salads and her father was narrating his funny sailor stories. They would be laughing and having fun. But their mood could change for the smallest of all things. She could be picking up her green peas and pushing them to the far end of the plate. She hated green peas. Her father's anger flared and berated her for wasting food. What happened next was a blur. She remembered howling with pains as her father's fists rained down on her small body mercilessly.

She remembered apologizing for wasting food and begged her mother to save her. Her mother looked away, refusing to help her. Her mother feared incurring the wrath of her father. Her father stopped only when he was exhausted. Her mother would only come to her when her father left the dining room. "Sara, dear, you should never waste food," she said as she tended to her injuries.

As she grew older, the trips to the emergency room became a routine. Her mother would lie to the doctors and evade questions. Sometimes, they would go to different hospitals to avoid the inquisitive doctors who cared.

"Honey," Grissom placed a kiss on her forehead tenderly, "thank you."

"Do you want a bath?" he asked, realizing that a sheen of sweat coated Sara's body. She nodded, feeling sticky and sweaty from their lovemaking earlier on. She dropped the blanket that was covering her modesty and slid her hands into Grissom's proffered ones.

Grissom tugged Sara forward to their bathroom gently. He filled the bathtub with warm water and Sara's favorite bath products and added a few drops of lavender essential oil into the water as the final touch. He turned his attention to Sara and lowered her onto the bathtub carefully. Sara let out a low rumble of bliss as the warm water soothed her body.

Grissom sat on the edge of the bathtub and watched Sara enjoying her bath. His fingers skimmed across her slight swell lightly. He still could not believe that inside of Sara was a life they had created.

"I still could not believe we're going to be parents." Grissom mused, caressing Sara's stomach fondly. Sara's eyes flicked open and nodded. "I never thought I would become a Mum. I was afraid that I can never be a good mother." She sighed.

"Honey, don't ever think about that. You will be a great Mom." Grissom was sure that Sara would be a great mother. Despite Sara always claimed that she was not good with children, he had saw how she interacted with them. Abby Fisher was a great example of how Sara would be a great mother. She kept herself updated with Abby's life and visited Abby regularly after the case was closed.

"I know you will be a great mother." Grissom ensured.

"We both will be great parents," Sara added.

Grissom pulled the stopper out and let the water drained from the tub. He pulled Sara up and massaged the soap all over Sara's body. He paid particular attention to her full, tender breasts. Sara thrust her body into his hands as he tweaked her taut nipples. He trailed his finger to her inner thigh and urged her to open her legs. Her legs parted as per request and his fingers found the familiar path to her clit. He knew she was wet and he was proud to know that it was not from the bath.

"I need you," she breathed hoarsely. Grissom dipped two fingers into her. "I love you." He said, as he pulled his fingers out and plunged into her again. His idle hand went to her sensitive nipple and pinched it. Sara let out a scream as she shuddered around his fingers.

When Sara stopped trembling, Grissom pulled his fingers out of her. Sara was spent and she leaned against the wall for support. He turned the faucet on to wash the suds off Sara. After he was done, he enveloped Sara in a warm towel, drying her before wrapping a small towel around her hairs. He helped Sara into flowery silk robe he gifted her for Valentine Day a few back and tied the sash around her stomach loosely.

"Gil, I am coming home," Sara said. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Home is wherever you are. I never want to leave you again." Sara sniffed. She would never want to leave him again. When she was back in Vegas, she felt a void in her heart. Though they talked regularly over the phone, but she felt empty inside. The void was only filled when she saw Grissom again in the airport today. Then she understood that what the void was.

"But I have to go back to Vegas to handover to Catherine. They would be thrilled to find out that we are expecting." Sara grinned at the thought of the excitement Nick and Greg would exhibit.

"I can't go back with you. The semester starts next week." Grissom frowned. He did not want Sara to go back alone.

Sara shook her head, "I will be fine. I will be there for a week or two. I am thinking of sending Hank over. He misses us terribly."

"Hank would be a great companion for the baby and me." Sara missed the pooch. She knew that Hank was currently under his mother's care after he left Vegas to find her in Costa Rica. Hank was adopted from the shelter. He was abandoned by his previous owners as they found him too big for their taste. Sara fell in love with Hank when they volunteered at the shelter. His big eyes were sad and droopy when they first saw him. Hank was distrusting and it took loads of coaxing before the pooch finally trusted them.

Grissom agreed. "I miss that slobbering dog. He took over your side of the bed after you left. He whined and cried on your pillow. I had to throw that pillow out after he salivated on it. But I couldn't and he was fiercely protective of that. I think it was because it had your scent."

"I'm sorry for leaving. I had to do it. I did not want to self destruct. It was so overwhelming." Sara played with her wedding ring. "The team looked at us differently. Then I had to change shift. We were seeing lesser of each other. We missed each other during dinner. When I slept at night, you were working. I broke out in cold sweat as I dreamt about that red mustang and rain. I dreamt that I was dead. Natalie Davis won. I was dead. I saw you withering in that dream and you committed suicide because you were depressed. I was so afraid."

Sara quivered.

Grissom looked at her worriedly. "You never told me that."

"You never asked and I did not want you to worry." Sara replied.

"You should have told me and we can get help." Grissom tightened his embrace around Sara.

"That was a fight I had to fight alone." Sara sobbed. "And, I finally won. I made peace with my mother. I finally visited my father's grave after twenty years. I never visit his grave after the funeral. I was so angry with them. I blamed them for the screwed up family and childhood they gave me. I hated my mother for letting me witness how she stabbed my father to death. But now, I finally closed that chapter of my life. I managed to let go of the hate."

Grissom rubbed circles on Sara's back comfortingly. "Yes, you won. My fighter."

"My fighter, I love you, forever and always. I will protect you and our family. And, we would fare better in the communication department." He pressed his lips on hers to seal his promise.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you for reading. My updates will become sporadic, as I am getting busy at work. Thank you for your utmost support and patient._

* * *

 **\- Chapter 4 -**

* * *

 **December 2009**

Grissom and Sara spent their remaining days before Sara needed to fly back to Vegas hunting for a new apartment in Paris. Their current apartment was cozy for two, but it was too crowded for three and a dog.

"Which one do you like?" Grissom asked as he took the seat opposite of Sara. He slid a cup of hot chocolate, which Sara came to love recently, across the table towards her. The corners of her mouth lifted up as the waft of the delicious scent of chocolate filled her nose. She took a sip of the chocolate and it seemed to calm her frustrated nerves.

"I like all of them, but they were all too expensive. Those which are within our budget is too far from the University." Sara pouted, and folded her arms across her chest. Their agent brought them to a few apartments and they were satisfied, but they could not decide as there were some factors that were stopping them from deciding on an apartment.

"I think I should continue working in the lab," Sara said matter-of-factly. She thought about this for the past few days. It would definitely help with their budget with the baby coming in a few months' time. She had used up a significant portion of her saving when she went on the Sea Shepard trip. She moved her mother from the state facility to a private facility and paid upfront for one year of her care and it ate into her saving.

"No. I don't want you to continue working there. I want us to be together." Grissom felt his pulses rising. "And, It's too dangerous."

"I won't go out in the field. I will just help with processing evidence." Sara said, hoping Grissom would understand. "Moreover, my Mother is currently staying in a private facility. The fees are expensive."

"Honey, don't worry about money. I can handle it." Grissom enveloped Sara in an embrace and placed a kiss on the back of her head gently. "We could sell the townhouse," Grissom suggested.

Sara could not believe what she just heard. Grissom loved his townhouse. It was his first property. He brought the townhouse after he was promoted to CSI Level 3. After he left Vegas for her, he could not bear to sell it because of sentiment value.

"Are you sure?"

Grissom nodded. "The townhouse is not as important as you. As much as I valued it, but it could never be more important than you. We could get a better apartment and you would not need to stay in Vegas."

Sara smiled at Grissom appreciatively. "Thank you for doing this."

* * *

 **April 2015**

Sara swirled the amber liquid in her glass before gulping it down in a mouth. Sara made a face as the liquid burned her throat. She lifted her hand to catch the bartender's attention to order another glass of whiskey. She was upset. She promised herself that she would not touch alcohol again after it almost destroyed her life and her career. Yet, now she was in the bar, drinking her tenth glass of whiskey.

She wandered around the campus like a ghost after her encounter with Grissom and Ursula. She found herself walking to the lecture hall where Grissom's seminar was held. She snuck in, blending herself with a group of eager criminalists who had heard about Grissom's achievements in Las Vegas lab.

She chose a seat far behind in the lecture hall where she was absolutely sure that she would remain unseen by Grissom or Ursula. She fidgeted in her seat, contemplating should she leave before the seminar starts. When she was about to leave, Ursula's piercing voice introduced Grissom to the audiences.

"Let's welcome esteemed Entomologist Dr. Grissom to share his valuable insights."

Sara watched the large screen as Grissom expressed his thanks towards Ursula before praising and acknowledging Ursula as a valued partner.

Sara froze and was unable to move as she watched the interactions between Grissom and Ursula. They were smooth and easy. Grissom laughed easily at Ursula's jokes. Ursula linked her arms around his shoulder. Some audiences wolf-whistled. "Dr. Grissom is one lucky man."

"I am a lucky woman," Ursula laughed.

"Can I buy you a drink?" A masculine voice snapped Sara out of her reverie. The man took the seat beside her without Sara's invitation. "I have been watching you. You seemed to be drinking your sorrows."

Sara ignored him and waved at the bartender again.

"My name is Mark Grissom." He introduced himself, undeterred by Sara's obvious lack of interest.

Sara turned to face him when she heard his last name. Mark flashed his megawatt smile which never failed to dazzle women. Sara observed that Mark was in his late forties and he had a pair of sapphire eyes. Sara returned his smile. Her keen sense impaired by the huge amount of alcohol she drank earlier. She did not mind the flirting.

"You looked down," Mark commented.

"Yes, I am," Sara answered truthfully. "Who upset you?" Mark asked, thinking that Sara had obviously fallen for his charm.

"My ex-husband," Sara replied, and swallowed all of the contents in her glass.

Mark shook his head, "I could not believe that someone would let you go after marrying you." He slid his hand towards Sara's face and caressed, "you're so pretty."

Sara laughed bitterly. No one had ever told her she was pretty. Suddenly, she decided that she liked Mark. "No one told me that. Not even my ex-husband. I am just a fighter to him."

Tears spilled from her eyes. "Damn it," she cursed, "I promised myself I will not cry for him."

Sara's cries attracted whispering from the crowd as they looked towards their direction.

"Want to take this upstairs to my room? You could have a good cry there." Mark suggested, hoping that Sara would accept. Once they were in his room, Sara would be susceptible to him. He drew nearer and slithered his left hand onto Sara's inner thigh.

"Yes, why not?" Sara stood up. Mark threw a wad of bills onto the counter and led Sara to his room.

* * *

 **September 2015**

"Who's going with her?" the paramedic asked as they placed Sara on the stretcher. Grissom found himself raising his hand, but he was cut off by Greg.

"You are no longer related to Sara! You do not have the right." Greg pushed Grissom away. "I will go with her," Greg said, and followed the paramedics as they whisked Sara away.

"Where are you bringing her?" Russell asked. "Desert Palm."

"Let's go." Russell filed out of the Layout Room.

"Let's go. Please forgive Greg, he is very protective of Sara, especially what you had put her through." Morgan probed Grissom softly. "Don't you want to go?" she asked as she found Grissom rooted to the ground.

"Yes, yes." Grissom followed Morgan out of the layout room and hurried to catch up with Russell.

"What the hell!" Catherine shouted frustratedly as she was left all alone in the layout room.

* * *

 _I think I never mentioned that Sara's baby is Grissom. ~evil laugh~ I saw some promotion pictures from twitter and if I talk about case file, I might bring Heather in. It's only a possibility. Voting had started over CSIFO, please go cast your votes. There were 8 authors who participated in this challenge. Enjoy your weekend, and make mine a great one by leaving your reviews! Thank you!_


	6. Chapter 6

_I know the introduction of another OC character, Mark Grissom, was a nasty surprise. But hang on, keep the faith. I am a GSR fan. It will eventually be GSR-ending. But I shall not keep the suspense of Sara's baby belongs to which Grissom. Voting had started over at CSIForeverOnline wikifoundry website. Please help to cast a vote if you like this story. Thank you. This is a short one before I leave for a short trip. More to come, hopefully, when I am back. I also hope that I can update Serenity too. :) Don't forget to leave a review. THANKS MUCH!_

 _Disclaimer: A few curse words, and some scenes that might not acceptable to some people._

* * *

\- Chapter 5 -

* * *

 ** _April 2015_**

Sara allowed Mark to place his hand on the small of her back. She giggled when he made some stupid jokes. Her judgment had severely impaired by the huge amount of alcohol she drank.

"You're very beautiful," Mark complimented as he brushed a lock of stray hair off Sara's face gently.

"No one told me that. It's either you're brilliant or you're smart. Do you really think I am beautiful?" Sara said. Mark nodded earnestly. He found Sara to be an unconventional beauty. She did not belong to what the mass's definition of beautiful but her looks attracted him.

"Thank you," Sara tiptoed and planted a kiss on Mark's left cheek. Mark grinned and returned Sara's kiss. He trapped her between the elevator wall and his body. His breathings were hot on the pulsing point on her neck. His lips caressed the pulsing point and suckled her delicate skin, leaving a mark.

Sara moaned despite herself. It had been years since she been in an intimate situation with anyone. She pressed herself against Mark and urged him on. He slipped his hands down to her buttocks and cup them. He grinded his erection onto Sara.

"I am hard for you." He whispered into her ear. He nibbled her earlobe and stroke the back of the neck with his nimble fingers.

The elevator dinged to alert that they had reached Mark's floor. Mark release Sara from his hold. Sara groaned from the loss of contact.

"Let's go," Mark offered his hands to her.

Sara hesitated to take his hands. She felt a void in her heart. She supposed to feel excited and happy with the prospect having sex, but she felt an emptiness. She remembered what Grissom told her years ago about paid sex.

"What's wrong?" Mark asked, confused with Sara's hesitation. Sara had been very responding to his actions.

"I can't do this. Sex without love is meaningless, pointless. I can't do this." Sara said, pushing Mark out of the elevator.

"Sara…" Mark wedged himself between the doors to stop them from closing. "Fuck you," he grabbed and pulled Sara out of the elevator.

"Let me go," Sara whimpered as he squeezed her wrists forcefully. "After leading me, and getting me hard, you think you could just run away by telling me that sex without love is nothing. That isn't going to happen. Regardless of whether you want it or not, you are following me back to my room."

Mark clasped his hands over Sara's mouth to stop her from shouting and dragged her towards his room.

Sara bit his hand hard. He yelped in pain, relinquishing her from his tight hold. Sara crept away and ran towards the elevator as fast as her unsteady legs allowed. She blamed herself for drinking so much as she wobbled towards the elevator. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she was running. Adrenaline filled her body, empowering her to run.

She screamed as he yanked her by her hair and pulling her back. "Fucking bitch." He slapped her face harshly. Blood seeped out of the corners of Sara's mouth. He raised his hands again, poised to deliver another slap to her face, but he was stopped by a strong, firm grip on his hand.

* * *

 ** _July 2015_**

"Miss Sara Sidle," the nurse, Jolene, called. Sara stood and walked towards the nurse slowly. Jolene gave Sara a small smile as she guided her into the preparation room.

"Please change into this and when you're ready, just buzz me in. We will need to insert a tablet into your vagina to dilate the cervix to prepare for the surgery." Jolene handed the surgical robes to Sara.

"As you're in your early second trimester, Dr. Elaine may need to administer a shot to your stomach to stop the baby's heart beating," Jolene stated before closing the door, giving Sara the much-required privacy.

Sara's hands went to her stomach immediately. She gulped. She felt an excruciating pain as her heart constricted.

She fished out her iPhone from her pocket and speed-dialed Grissom's number. She waited for several long seconds before it was finally connected.

"Griss… it's Sara." She uttered unconfidently.

"Ah…Miss Sara Sidle," the high pitched voice filtered over the phone, "this is Ursula Cohen."

"I thought we had spoken over the phone before about disturbing and harassing Gilbert. Please stop this harassment. Please stop sending emails and letters to Gilbert. Don't use your baby as a pawn to get Gilbert back. This is just low. Moreover, he has no interest in the baby and he does not believe the baby is his. Go get an abortion if you could not find someone to be the father of your bastard child." Ursula expressed her frustration cruelly.

Sara almost dropped her phone and she felt her heart shattered. Tears streamed down Sara's cheeks.

"I will not call again." Sara disconnected the phone and dropped down to the floor. She hugged her legs to her chin and cried.

She reached for her phone which was sprawled across the floor. She scrolled her contact list to 'G' and tapped on 'Greg'.

The phone was connected within a few rings. Greg's cheerful voice greeted her. "Sara! Do you want to have brunch together? Morgan and I are planning to have brunch at this newly opened diner."

"Greg… can you come and pick me up at Birth Control Care Center at Sahara Avenue?" Sara asked meekly. Greg's the only family she had now. She knew that she could rely on Greg.

"Are you okay Sara?" Greg's voice turned serious. "Yes. Yes. I am. I just need someone to send me home. I could not go through… it. Please." Sara pleaded. Greg covered the mouthpiece and told Morgan that something unexpected happened and he had to settle it and had to rain check on their breakfast date.

"I will be there in twenty minutes. Sara, listen to me, don't do anything you would regret."

Sara nodded numbly and she sat on the examination bed. Her hands placed firmly over her stomach.

She had a life inside of her and yet she wanted to end the life inside of her because the rejections from Grissom. How could she be so cruel.

She could not and would not.

* * *

Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

\- Chapter 6 -

* * *

 ** _December 2009_**

Grissom whistled happily as he walked down the aisles of the baby department, shopping for a cot and baby clothes. He wanted to surprise Sara after she comes home. Sara did not want to splurge on a cot, as she wanted to save for the house they would be getting and reasoned that they could get a second-hand cot.

He thumbed through the catalogue the store provided, and he wanted to get everything the store had in the catalogue. The onesies the store had were incredibly cute, with a little red ladybug on the center. He knew that his daughter would love bugs as much as him.

A few days before Sara left for Vegas, they went for Sara's fourth month scan and OB told them they were expecting a daughter. His tears fell as he saw their daughter moved around in Sara's womb.

He could not believe that both Sara and him had created a life, a beautiful life. He knew that he would be wrap around their daughter's little finger after she is born, but he did not mind one bit.

He ordered an expensive, white baby cot, with elaborate carvings and bought a few soft, bugs themed onesies. He smiled as he walked out of the store, feeling accomplished.

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and his eyelids twitched ominously when he saw the Nick's number on the cell display.

He connected the phone, and pressed it against his face, "Grissom."

"Grissom…" Nick was flustered. "Sara… she... she was involved in a car accident."

Grissom felt his heart sank.

* * *

 ** _September 2015_**

Greg glared at Grissom who was sitting at the far end of the bench. Morgan shook her head, and pulled Greg to a corner. She soothed him with a rub on his back. "Greg, I think ultimately Sara would appreciate him here. She might not have voiced out that but I think deep down Sara had never let Grissom go entirely." Morgan said with a soft smile. Greg relented and his shoulders drooped. "I know but I have to protect Sara. She went through a lot."

Morgan pulled Greg into an embrace, "this is what I love about you. So fiercely protective of friends."

"Let's go get some coffee for them," Morgan clasped her hands over Greg's and tugged him along the direction towards the cafeteria.

"She's Morgan," Russell turned to face Grissom after Morgan and Greg left for the cafeteria. Grissom nodded distractedly, his eyes trained on the green curtains where Sara was laying on the other side.

"I know her, Sara told me that she's Ecklie's daughter." Grissom muttered.

"She will be okay," Russell comforted, noticing the anxiety Grissom was experiencing. "Yes, she will be fine. Sara is a fighter." Grissom concurred. "She had been through a lot and every time she emerges stronger."

Russell agreed. "Did you know that Sara and I did not have a great start?" Grissom chuckled, "I know. We skyped, and she was complaining about her new Supervisor for being weird. You grew magic mushroom in the lab. Then I reminded her that I was weirder. I had this jar of radiated fetal pig and a tarantula in the lab. Not to mention that I love cockroach racing. She said that you would have this family meeting to allow them to sort things out which she found it uncomfortable. Sara's a very private person and she did have much of a family while she was growing up. But she eventually grew to like you. You treated them as your family."

Russell laughed heartily, remembering the initial days where the whole team was weary of him. He was what they termed as Ecklie's man as he was recruited by him and Catherine's and Nick's demotion did not help much.

They lapsed into silence as they waited patiently for Sara's updates from her OB who just walked behind the curtains to check on her.

"I see that you still care for Sara and I think that you still love Sara, despite what had happened between Sara and you." Russell expressed his observation, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them. He witnessed how Grissom rushed to Sara's side when she fainted in the layout room. He saw the panicky look Grissom had when the paramedics worked on Sara. He was hovering around disregarding Greg's animosity.

Grissom was taken aback by Russell's bluntness. "I still love Sara… the love I have her only deepened as time goes by." He replied.

Russell believed what Grissom had just confessed but he could not comprehend what had happened between the Grissom and Sara, resulting in their current bitter situation.

"Family of Sara Sidle?" the nurse in scrubs called. They both stood up and hurried over to the nurse.

* * *

 _Thank you for reading. Remember to help to vote for me if you like this story over at here: goo . gl / M3Sxyq_

 _Please remove the spacing in between, I have shortened the URL._

 _I know it's difficult to have a storyline that satisfied all but I hope you would give this story a chance. Thank you. Nonetheless, let me know about your thoughts. :)_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N Thank you for reading. Review if you like it. :) Between, the polling is still ongoing, until 18 Aug (if I am not wrong)._

* * *

\- Chapter 7 -

* * *

 ** _December 2009_**

Sara hummed a song as she ambled down the corridor in high spirits. Judy commented she looked radiant and different. She was definitely different. There was a life growing inside of her. Grissom and she were having a baby, girl. They were going to be parents.

"SARA! All hands on deck! I am so glad you're back. Let's go." Greg shouted, dashing towards her, pulling her into a tight embrace. Sara coughed, feeling suffocated. Greg relinquished his tight hold and grabbed Sara's wrists and pulled her towards the exit. "I will brief you along the way. I will drive this time. I have stocked your kit." Greg announced enthusiastically.

Sara sighed, following along Greg's quick footsteps to the Tahoe.

"Greg… I will drive." Sara asked for the car keys. Greg's driving skills needed improvement. Greg rolled his eyes, "Sara, it's my turn to drive. Go over to the passenger side." Sara climbed onto the Tahoe resignedly, knowing that it would be futile to argue with Greg.

"You look different," Greg commented after briefing Sara on the scale of the crime scene. He looked over to the passenger side, contemplating Sara. "Hmmm," he tapped his chin thoughtfully, trying to figure out what was the difference.

Sara chuckled before announcing, "I am definitely different. I am pregnant."

"Oh my god, Sara, I swear if my hands are free now, I will give you a bear hug. Congratulations." Greg burbled.

Sara just smiled and told Greg her plans. "I going back to Paris to join Grissom. We planned to start our family there. Grissom will be teaching full time at Sorbonne and I will be taking my Ph.D. there too and also taking care of our baby girl." Sara rubbed her stomach affectionately.

"I am so happy for you, Sara. Though I will be missing you," Greg sniffled, and wiped his eyes mockingly. He was happy that Sara found her happiness. She truly deserved every happiness after going through all the dreadful events last year. She was kidnapped, placed under the red mustang, almost drowned in the heavy rain, but she survived. "Sara, I am glad that all works out for you."

"Greg!" Sara shouted, pointing frantically in front, "Look out!"

Greg froze as he watched the truck, which was driving on the wrong side of the road, collided onto their Tahoe. Their Tahoe spun around a few times before skidding to a stop at the side of the road.

"Sara…" Greg reached out to Sara's side weakly. He felt rather okay except for a throbbing headache. He turned his head gingerly to Sara's side and gasped.

* * *

 ** _September 2015_**

"Is Sara okay?" Grissom asked.

The nurse nodded, "Miss Sidle is fine, but she needs plenty of bed rest." Grissom let out a breath of relief finally knowing that Sara was okay.

Russell frowned, noticing that Grissom had not asked about the baby's condition. "Is Sara's baby okay?" he inquired.

"Yes, the baby is too. It seemed that Miss Sidle was distressed and she was a little anemic. We have to put her under observation. If all is fine, she could discharge in the next two days." The nurse answered.

"We will be transferring her to the ward. You could visit her over there. But we have to keep the visitors to two at any time. Between, who's Gil Grissom?" the nurse queried, eyeing the two men standing in front of her.

"I am," Grissom replied.

"Miss Sidle had explicitly expressed to keep you out of her ward. She cited you as her reason of distress." The nurse expressed Sara's wish to keep Grissom out of her ward, then walked back to the nurse station.

Grissom felt his heart and head throbbed painfully together.

"I am sure Sara would change her mind," Russell placed his hands on Grissom's back encouragingly. "As for now, we should respect her wish."

Grissom nodded numbly.

Greg and Morgan returned with coffee. "Is Sara and the baby okay?" Morgan asked when she saw the grave look Grissom had on. Russell nodded to assure them, "both of them are fine. They are transferring Sara to the ward now. Sara needs plenty of bed rest. We can only visit her two at a time." He told them but left out the part where Sara did not want Grissom in her ward.

They walked to Sara's ward, with Grissom following behind blankly. He did not know what he could do but to follow them.

"Excuse me," Russell said, as he walked to the far end of the corridor to answer his phone call.

"Do you want to go in?" Morgan asked Grissom who was hovering near the door. Greg glared at Grissom. "He did not deserve to be inside there."

"Gregory Hojem Sanders, stop your foul attitude," Morgan berated. "You have been very hostile."

"I am going in," Greg huffed. He knocked before opening the door slightly. He squeezed himself in not giving Grissom the chance of a glimpse of Sara.

"I will stay outside," Grissom said, "Sara's OB said that she should not be upset."

"I will update you about Sara." Morgan opened the door widely, allowing Grissom to peep inside. Grissom was grateful towards Morgan's gesture.

"She seemed fine," Morgan whispered before closing the door.

* * *

 ** _April 2015_**

"What are you trying to do?" Grissom tightened his grip on the man who just slapped Sara across the face. He could not describe the anger he had when he saw that man pulling Sara by her hair and then slapping her.

Mark whimpered painfully. "Let go of me."

"If you want this bitch over here, you can have her." Mark yelped as Grissom twisted his wrists. Grissom delivered a punch towards Mark's right profile, bruising Mark's face.

"Let him go, Grissom, please," Sara cried, pleading Grissom to let Mark go. She was terrified. It reminded her of violence she experienced when she was young. Her father would grip her wrists so tightly that it fractured her wrists. She could not write for a few days. Her father, upon sobering up, would cajole her and promise her that he would never do that again. He broke his promise every time he was drunk.

She crouched down abruptly and wrapped her arms around knees, sniveling.

Grissom released Mark's hand and Mark scampered. "Sara," Grissom's voice was soft.

Sara looked up, shivering from fears, "I am scared. Don't do that again. I hate violence. You reminded me of my father."

Grissom apologized and offered his hands. Sara took his proffered hands and he pulled her up.

Sara wrapped her arms around Grissom's torso, relishing the warmth. She buried her head on Grissom's broad, strong chest.

* * *

Greg's protectiveness could be explain, as he was the one who caused Sara's miscarriage in 2009.

Thank you. Please leave me a review if you like/hate it. Reviews keep me going. :)


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Katyrye and I shared the honor of winning the CSIFO June 2015 challenge. Thank you very much for your tremendous support. I know I have slipped behind for posting. I apologize for that. Serenity would be updated soon. :)_

 **\- Chapter 8 -**

 ** _January 2010_**

Sara sat on the bench stiffly waiting for Grissom to complete the check in for their flight back to Paris. Her eyes were both red and puffy. She could not help her tears as they slid down her cheeks when her hands wandered to her flat stomach. She felt empty inside. Their baby girl was gone. She could not believe two weeks ago, she was nurturing a life inside of her but now, it was gone forever. She buried her face in her hands as her anguish tears fell.

"Sara," Grissom's voice soft as he sat beside her and wrapped an arm over her shoulder, and pulled her close to him. "I am so sorry, Gil," Sara choked, "I should have been more careful." It was all her fault. She should have heeded Grissom's advice and not come back to Vegas. The guilt gnawed at her.

Grissom heaved a sad sigh before comforting Sara, "it's not your fault. No one anticipated the accident. Our girl wasn't fated to be with us."

"I want our baby back," Sara cried. She felt helpless as no one understood the pains she was going through. She felt the sharp pain when the air bag inflated and struck her stomach. She screamed when she felt the warmth between her legs as the blood trickled down. The last thing she remembered was the apologies from Greg.

She woke briefly when the paramedics placed her on the stretcher. She saw Hank Peddigrew, her cheating ex-boyfriend. His face was grave. She grasped his hands weakly and asked him to save her baby.

The ER doctors tended to her injuries, ignoring her pleas to save her baby. She wanted them to save her baby first, but they did not listen to her. She sobbed silently as she drifted in and out of conscious.

When she finally woke up, she realized it wasn't a nightmare. The white-washed, and sterile environment and the antiseptic smell told she was in a hospital. Grissom was there holding her hands. He smiled at her tenderly. His eyes were red-rimmed. She knew that their baby was gone. He explained that the ER doctors could not detect a heartbeat of their child when they performed a scan for her. Their baby had died upon impact. They had performed the abortion for her after they had his permission as soon as he was here.

They had a small burial for their daughter, Aimee Grissom. They chose Aimee as it meant beloved and their daughter would forever be beloved by them. They placed her remains in a small casket and buried her in a Catholic cemetery. Grissom fought for their daughter's remains as he did not want her to be disposed of as medical waste.

It was comforting to Sara that their Aimee had a proper burial. She broke down as the casket was lowered into the ground and dirt started to cover the casket. Grissom held her firmly. He was her only support, her anchor, and her only comfort as they mourned for their loss.

"Honey, let's go home," Grissom's voice lulled her back. He wiped the tears off her face with the pad of his thumb softly. She nodded. He kissed her forehead lovingly.

* * *

 ** _April 2010_**

Grissom still felt uncomfortable in the psychologist's room despite his numerous visits. He played with his fingers as he tried to relax on the sofa. Today, he was ready to address Warrick and Aimee. The two deaths that impacted him the most.

His psychologist, Dr. John smiled as he looked up from his half-moon spectacles.

"I want to talk about Warrick and Aimee." Grissom squeezed his eyes shut. Dr. John waited for Grissom to begin.

"I watched Warrick slipped away in my arms." He felt his heart wrenched painfully. Warrick had been dead for almost two years. It still hurt whenever he thought of his protégé.

"I could not save him. I kept asking him not to close his eyes. Help's arriving. I begged him to stay with me. He kept bleeding, but I have wrapped my jacket around his neck. I thought the bleeding would stop. It didn't. Blood was all over my shirt. I cradled his head near my chest. I didn't know what to do but to hold him close. We just had breakfast before his death celebrating his acquittal. It was so surreal when hours later he found him in the back alley." He swallowed hard. It was difficult to recap that horrific night. He loved Warrick. Warrick was like his son.

Dr. John nodded encouragingly, but he did not speak. Instead, he allowed Grissom to continue in his own pace.

"They came to the scene, my team. Nick was stunned. Brass felt guilty. Greg was lost. It hit Catherine hard too. Warrick was very close to her too She wept when the ME covered him with a white plastic sheet. I went with him to the morgue. I felt comforted and relief when I saw Sara in my office. When she wrapped her arms around me, rubbing my back, I totally unraveled. She flew back on the first flight." Grissom opened his eyes and shut them again. He felt easier to share with his eyes closed.

"We buried him. I delivered a eulogy."

"I believed Warrick was happy that he died in your arms," Dr. John commented, putting his notepad away and pulled out a few tissues for Grissom.

"Sara told me that too." He accepted the tissues and dabbed them at his eyes.

"Did you undergo therapy after Warrick's death?" Dr. John asked.

Grissom sighed and nodded. "I went to see the department, therapist. They told me that I had a mild PTSD. It was normal as I just witnessed the death of a beloved and Sara's kidnap and near-death months ago added on to it. I had a recurring nightmare of Warrick dying and he reproached me for not doing anything to helping him. I became depressed after Sara left for the second time. I told her that we're no longer moving forward. We seemed to be stagnant. We perhaps should separate."

"I became distant from the team. Catherine and Brass were worried. They took turns to persuade me to take days off. I could not. I was wound up. I needed to work to take my mind off from Sara's leaving and Warrick's death. It was a few weeks later. Sara sent me a video. She told me that I had made a decision about our relationship after I refused to go with her. She seemed happier in the video. Her glow was back in her face. I missed her so much. After she left, I forbid myself to think of her. She did not initiate contact after she left. Our relationship had ended and my heart ached whenever she came into my mind or when I saw her robe in my closet. Her video was an affirmation of our love had died." He recalled the darkest period of his life. He could not concentrate on his job and he made some sloppy mistakes. Catherine had to cover up for him and he was grateful towards her for that. Ecklie was breathing down his neck and lamenting about the budget cut due to the bad publicity that surrounded the lab.

"I went to Heather. She was the only one I knew that could help me. Brass wasn't particularly happy when I told him I needed to consult Heather on a case. He told me blatantly that his loyalty lay in Sara and he was confident I would mess up my fragile relationship with Sara. But I had to go to Heather. People mistook our relationship a sexual one, but it wasn't the case. She understood me, even better than Sara." Heather and his relationship though started out as sexual but as times went by, they came to understand that what they shared was purely friendship.

"She helped me to understand that I wanted and needed Sara more than my career." He fluttered his eyes open slowly. "I think I am done for today. I could not continue."

"Had it change now?" Dr. John asked.

"What had changed?"

"Your love for Sara…"

Grissom stared at him and blinked. "I don't know. She left again."

* * *

 ** _September 2015_**

"We have to go. Catherine needed us at the scene. We found a new burial site. We could really use your expertise now, but I know that you would want to be with Sara. I would just tell Catherine you are not ready to go to the scene. I will just call Nick for help." Russell updated Grissom.

Grissom smiled at him appreciatively. "Thank you."

Russell knocked on the door gently and called Morgan and Greg out. "We have to go." He informed them. "But…I want to stay here with Sara." Greg protested.

"All hands on deck. Greg. This isn't a time to act childish. We are now shorthanded because of Sara's hospitalization. No further argument, Greg." Russell lightly chided. Greg pouted, then glared at Grissom. He had no choice but to follow Russell's orders.

"Sara is sleeping. You could go in now to take a look." Morgan said before leaving with a sulking Greg.

After they left, Grissom contemplated if he should enter. He was afraid that his presence would agitate Sara. However, he also wanted to know how she was doing.

He took a deep breath before opening the door as quietly as he could.

* * *

Thank you! Your support is deeply appreciated.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: I have been putting off updates because I enjoyed the Finale. :) It made me happy and I did not like to spoil the happy feelings for some readers. Thus, no updates for such a long period. All right, it was a lame excuse. But, I am glad that we got a resolution. ^_^ I hope this reads fine. Thank you, your support (in the form of reviews) is deeply appreciated._

* * *

\- Chapter 9 -

* * *

 ** _September 2015_**

Sara knew when Grissom entered the ward. She woke the moment when the door clicked softly behind him and walked towards her bed. She could never forget the sounds of his footsteps. She held her breath and maintained her stiff position as Grissom inched closer towards the bed. She was relieved she had her back facing the Grissom. She knew that she would definitely break down if she faces Grissom again. His rejection stung her. She could accept his rejection towards her, but she could not bear the thought of him rejecting his flesh and blood.

Grissom pulled the chair towards the bed and sat down. He hesitated to whether to call Sara's bluff. He knew that she had woken up. When they first slept together, Sara had difficulty trusting him. She would be on a high alert and she maintained a rigid position throughout the night. It was attributed to the volatile childhood she had. She was afraid of sleeping when she was young. Her father would pull her out of bed to whip her with his belt if he found that the housework he assigned to her was not properly done. She always kept a lookout until exhaustion finally took over.

Sara could not control the tears that slid down her face. She bit her lips to prevent herself from making any sounds. Grissom reached out tentatively after an immense internal struggle before placing his palm on her arm as she wept silently.

It felt comforting to Sara as his big palm permeated heat to her. It felt warm and it almost felt he cared about her. She would just pretend that he still cared. Most importantly, she still craved for his touches.

Grissom released his breath, which he had been holding when Sara did not shrink away from his touch. Truth be told, he missing touching her. He missed the intimacy between them.

When Sara visibly relaxed and snored slightly, he could not resist and scoot his hands down to her swollen belly. He caressed her belly gently and marveled when he felt the heart beating strongly. The corners of his lips curled up as he felt the movement beneath the stomach.

He wondered could he love the baby unconditionally even the baby was not his. His heart wrenched painfully as the thought of Sara cheating on him, sleeping with another guy, crept into his mind. Then he promptly corrected himself. Sara did not cheat on him. They were divorced and she had simply moved on. He thought that their encounter in April would help with their reconciliation. He was ecstatic to see her despite her obvious wariness towards him. He thought they had another chance. He had so much hope, but she left again without another word after their one night together.

"Sara…" he gasped. He worked back the timeline. There was a high possibility that the baby was his. Did he dare hope that the Sara's baby is his? He needed an answer.

He nudged her gently to wake her up. They needed to talk.

Sara stirred, groaned grumpily and rubbed her tired eyes.

"Sara…we need to talk," Grissom said.

Sara froze. "I don't want to and I don't see the need." Sara composed her reply. She refused to turn to face Grissom. "Please leave."

"Is the baby mine?" Grissom asked. He waited patiently for an answer.

The room became so still that they could hear a pin drops.

"Sara," He spoke when the silence became unbearable.

Grissom's phone rang just as Sara opened her mouth, wanting to answer his question. Grissom cursed and pulled out his phone. He looked at his display. The display showed 'Heather'. He contemplated if he should answer. These few months had been extremely grueling for Heather and he had promised to give Heather his support. Allison was involved in a road accident and died after a few days in a coma. This had devastated Heather and she was on the brink of a meltdown. She suffered a breakdown when Zoe died and he helped her through it.

"Answer it," Sara said.

"I am sorry." He apologized before walking out the room to answer the phone call. Sara was wary towards Heather and she had voiced out that she did not trust or like the connection between Heather and him. Despite his constant assurance that they were friends, Sara remained skeptical.

Sara sniffled when Grissom walked out. She realized she was spent. She pulled the blanket over her head and screwed her eyes shut.

After several minutes, Grissom reentered the room. "Sara… I have to leave now. Can we continue our talk later? Heather… she needs my help." Sara grunted.

"Sara, promise me you will be here." He was afraid. A sudden chill traveled down his spine.

"Sara…" he wanted her promise that she would not leave. His phone shrilled again. "Damn."

"Heather. I will be there soon." He spoke quickly into the receiver.

Sara's heart broke when he mentioned Heather. All hopes vanished when he chose Heather over her. "Go."

"Be here, please." Grissom pleaded. Then he marched out of the room. Sara struggled to get out of the bed. She pressed the bell.

"I would like to discharge," Sara smiled weakly at the nurse who had just entered.

* * *

I could not resist putting Heather in. Opps. *shun away*


	11. Chapter 11

\- Chapter 10 -

 ** _September 2015_**

Sara folded her letter and slot into the envelope addressed to Grissom. She sighed as she placed it on the bedside table. Despite Grissom's pleads, she decided to take the easy way out, which was to avoid Grissom. She hated herself for not being able to stay and confront Grissom. It simply hurt when she saw how easily she was thrown to the back to his mind whenever Heather called. His choice was clear. Heather would always be more important than her.

"Sara," Brass's mellow voice filtered into the room as he walked in with a wheelchair. Brass was her rock, her anchor in these few gloomy months. "Your doctor finally agreed to discharge you but on a condition. You're staying with me until your next doctor appointment." A benevolent smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Brass, thank you, but I can take care of myself." Sara shook her head. She did not want to impose on Brass. Moreover, she was afraid that Brass would reveal her whereabouts to Grissom. Brass frowned, "then you're not discharging."

Sara's shoulders dropped, feeling defeated and ensnared. She knew Brass would definitely not give in to her and she did not want to continue her hospitalization. "How about I stay at Greg?" She suggested.

"You rather be a third wheel in Greg's and Morgan's relationship than stay with me? I have an extra bedroom. You can stay there. No need worry about being disturbed. Your secret will be safe with me unless you give me the permission to tell." Brass pulled Sara into an embrace and rubbed her back.

"Thank you," Sara returned with a hug. She was grateful towards Brass. She knew that Brass was in a difficult situation. He had to choose which side he placed his loyalty. She was glad that he chose her.

"Let's go," Brass pointed at the wheelchair. Sara groaned but sat on it reluctantly.

* * *

Grissom rushed back to the hospital after Heather fell asleep due to exhaustion. She apologized for being so needy, but she was delirious when she called him. She was surprised when he appeared at her doorstep as she did not expect him to be in Vegas. She clung on him as she cried for her granddaughter, Allison. Allison's life was cruelly robbed away from her because of a drunk driver. His heart broke for Heather. The Heather he knew was strong and proud, but Allison's death was definitely a huge blow to her. Even the strongest person would break down. He wished that his dear friend would pick herself up again.

"Sara," he barged into the ward, fully expecting Sara to be in the ward. What greeted him was the emptiness. He grabbed hold of a passing nurse. "Where's the patient, Sara Sidle, in this ward?" The nurse shrugged but offered to get more information for him.

He entered the ward and saw a white envelope on the bedside table. He picked it up and recognized it as Sara's handwriting. It was addressed to him. He opened it gingerly, shaking the letter out. He reached for his spectacles in his pocket and put it over his nose bridge.

 _"Grissom,_

 _Once again, you had chosen Heather over me._

 _Why bothered asking that question when you could not give me the time to answer it? Why bothered asking when you were adamant that my baby was not yours. I have tried calling, emailing and even writing. Letters were rejected. Emails went unreplied. Phone calls were answered by Ursula Cohen._

 _Did you enjoy ripping my heart apart?_

 _A few months ago, you had Ursula to inform me that my baby was a bastard child and never use my baby as a leverage to get you back. You insinuated that I slept around. The truth was I didn't. Mark was a stupid mistake, but you were my most stupid mistake._

 _I gave you my heart. I gave you my trust._

 _Yet… you ripped my heart and my trust into pieces._

 _You did not hesitate when it comes to hurting me. Was it because I was easily pacified by a pot of plant? Was it because I took the first step to confess my love for you? Was it because I forgive you every time you were done hurting me? Was it because I love you more than you love me?_

 _I am done with you._

 _I would never give you a chance to hurt me or my baby._

 _Sara."_

Grissom turned ashen. He did not recall any emails, letters or phone calls from Sara and he certainly did not ask Ursula to convey such a message to her. He was upset when Sara ran away from the hotel in April without a word. Ursula told him that she saw Sara in the lobby, flustered and mumbling it was a huge mistake. Under duress, Ursula managed to convince him that Sara regretted sleeping with him. He felt he was manipulated by Ursula.

"Hi, Ms Sara Sidle was discharged this afternoon. Her guardian was Mr. Jim Brass." The nurse smiled, totally clueless about Grissom's internal turmoil. Grissom nodded without processing the information.

He knew that he had to look for Archie.

* * *

 _A/N: I am getting rusty. Bear with my irregular updates. There were too many things on my platter now. :) It's a short one but let me know if you're still interested in updates. If not, I am thinking of stopping fanfiction for an indefinite period of time._


	12. Chapter 12

- **Chapter 11 -**

* * *

 ** _September 2015_**

Brass drove Sara back to her house to pick up her clothes and some necessities. Sara excused herself into her room and asked Brass to make himself at home. Brass took the opportunity to explore Sara's living room. He noticed nothing much had changed except for the photos. The photos of Grissom and her were gone and pots of plants and books stood on the mantle and shelves as a replacement.

Brass felt genuinely sad for his friends. They were once so in love. He could still remember the twinkle in Grissom's eyes when he told him he was going to propose to Sara. Grissom's footsteps seemed lighter when they first started their relationship. He observed that both Grissom and Sara, the workaholics, work lesser overtime. Smiles were seen frequently on their faces. Sara lingered in Grissom's office more than required. It was then he knew that they were in a relationship. He congratulated Grissom who was taken aback by his keen observations. He laughed it off as he was once the supervisor of the graveyard shift.

When their marriage started to show cracks, he was the first to notice. Sara increased her working hours. Her vacation times dwindled. She started to volunteer to work over the holidays whereas others tried to worm their way out of it. When he asked about it, she brushed it off defensively.

He regretted turning a blind eye towards their precarious state of their marriage. He did not want to choose a side, thus he convinced himself that they were doing fine in their marriage.

He sighed, and felt pained for his friends. He always wondered if he had intervened, would it be a different outcome for them. It was a question he would never have an answer to and he felt responsible for their dissolve of their relationship and marriage.

Sara emerged from her bedroom with a small duffel bag. Her next appointment with the doctor will be in a week and she did not need to pack much for her stay at Brass. She noticed the sad look on Brass's face. "A penny for your thoughts?" she asked.

Brass shrugged and shook his head. He put on a smile and took the duffel bag from her. He pulled Sara into an embrace and apologized. "I am sorry that I didn't do anything to help your marriage with Grissom. I saw the signs, but I kept a blind eye."

Sara sighed and pulled away from Brass's embrace gently. "It wasn't your fault. Our problems started when I chose Vegas. My marriage with him started to fall apart when I miscarried Aimee. Though he did not mention anything about my return, but his actions showed that he was disappointed and he blamed me for miscarrying."

Brass shook his head, "I believed Grissom did not blame you for that. It was an accident."

Sara took a deep breath before continuing. "He did blame me. He asked me to stay with him, but I could not. It was so taunting. The apartment we had in Paris was filled with baby stuff. The white cot, the onesies, the stroller were too much for me. It was a constant reminder that I lost Aimee. I decided to leave him again. I buried myself with work. We stopped talking for a few months. Then we reconciled. We sort of pretended that everything was fine. We maintained contact through skype. He flew around the world, doing research works. It worked somehow for a while then the feeling of emptiness crept in. Betty told me that what I had with Grissom wasn't marriage. No married couple lived continents apart. She encouraged me to go to Grissom."

Sara swallowed the painful lump in her throat. "I went to him after the whole Ray's incident. I was exhausted."

She decided to take a two months' sabbatical. She needed times away from work to consider her options. She could join Grissom on his research trips or stay in Vegas. The option of joining Grissom sounded so tempting. She missed working beside him. She missed his intent concentration. She joined him in Peru where he was wrapping up the Moche's project. They decided to spend six weeks in Peru before joining Betty in San Francisco for an art gallery opening.

"Trying for a baby came up and I was ready, both physically and psychologically. I always wanted to have a family. It was odd, considering how broken my family was, but I wanted to start a family with Grissom. I wanted to give him a child."

Sara paused for a while, to compose herself. She did not know why she shared such intimate details with Brass, but she knew that she could place her trust in Brass.

"I didn't know that I was pregnant when we left for San Francisco. When we just touched down, Ecklie called. He asked if I could shorten my sabbatical. The graveyard shift was really short especially with both Nick and Catherine were suspended from work. I made the decision to go back to work. I bought a ticket back to Las Vegas. Grissom was upset, but he let me go. He felt defeated. My flight back to Vegas was hit by a severe turbulence. My tray table loosened and it struck against my stomach. I didn't know I miscarried until a few days later. I thought that I had a really bad case of cramps. I went to the doctor after a few days and found out that I miscarried and my body is flushing the fetus out."

Sara trembled and wrapped her arms around her body. Tears flowed down her cheeks freely as she reminisced how she lost her baby. With Aimee, she had a chance to listen to her heartbeats and she saw Aimee in the ultrasound scan. She knew nothing about her second child.

She smiled as her baby did a somersault in her. It was immensely uncomfortable, but she felt contented. She rubbed her swollen belly and whispered an apology. She could not fathom how she almost ended her baby's life because of Grissom's rejection.

"Sara… I didn't know…" Brass was startled.

"I didn't tell anyone. I told Grissom only. He was resigned. He hung up on me. Our communication ceased for a few months. Then he sent me a pot of plant. He wrote me a letter detailing how sorry he was. He was apologetic because he was not there to support me and he wished for my forgiveness." Sara smiled weakly. "It didn't work out. Our marriage failed because I left him too many times. Our marriage failed because we failed at communication. Our marriage failed because I chose work over him."

* * *

 _I am really thankful that I had readers who supported me, either through a PM or a review, when I mentioned that I might give up writing. I am glad that you did not give up on me when my updates are sporadic. Thank you. :-)_

 _To the guest reviewer who doubts that I would be finishing my stories: I wish I could reply to you via a PM as I doubt that you would be reading this anyway. But you left your two cents free comment anonymously which I had no chance of replying you privately. As what Torcan had said, writing takes time and efforts. It wasn't easy to write and post a story on FFN. It takes hours, at least for me, to complete a chapter. Please try putting yourself in other shoes before leaving a two cents worth of comment. It doesn't take more than five minutes of your time to leave such a comment, but your comment upset me for a few days. I probably should stop as there isn't a need to continue as you probably won't be reading this._

 _Thank you once again, for your kind support and words. I apologize for not being able to reply to your review personally, but I really appreciate that you took your precious times to leave a review/comment. Thank you._


	13. Chapter 13

**All About Your Heart**

 **\- Chapter 12 -**

* * *

September 2015

"You could take my room. There's an attached bathroom. I will take the guest room," Brass offered simply as he brought her bags to his master bedroom. Sara started shaking her head and wanted to protest.

"It will be easier for you. I didn't want you to move around too much at night. When Nancy was pregnant with Ellie, she needed to pee every other hour at night." Brass put up his hand to stop her from rejecting. Sara smiled, touched by Brass's kind gestures.

"I miss you so much at work," Sara mused. Sara truly missed Brass at work. It was never the same without Brass. Brass chortled unbelievingly, "right."

"You really looked out for us. It was never the same after you left." Sara felt a pang of sadness. She missed the camaraderie between Brass and her. She did not enjoy the same amity with other detectives. Brass always watched out for her. He tried to pair himself with her in every case she was assigned to after the Ronald Basderic's incident. Despite still reeling from his daughter's attempted suicide, he would have dinner with every week to check out on her. Besides Greg, Brass was equally supportive and protective of her.

"Thank you," Sara rested her head on Brass's trusty shoulders. "It's all right to cry, Sara. Crying doesn't mean you're not strong." Brass patted Sara's head. His heart wrenched seeing Sara in such vulnerable, sorrowful state. Sara could not hold back her tears anymore. Brass rubbed Sara's head to comfort her.

* * *

September 2015

Grissom clipped on his temporary pass when he alighted from the cab. "Grissom!" Catherine spotted him from the reception while talking to Judy when he walked into the lab. He moved on ignoring Catherine. He only had an intention now which was to find Archie. Catherine lips rounded into a pout exasperatedly and ran towards Grissom. She caught hold of his hands and held him back. "What's the urgency? How's Sara? Where's Sara?" She asked. Greg refused to update her about Sara and warned others not to update her too.

"Catherine," Grissom addressed grudgingly, rubbing his temple irritatingly, "Sara is fine. Could you let me go?" He tried to pull his arm out of Catherine's tight hold but to no avail.

"Grissom, what's wrong? I didn't know Sara is pregnant. If I did, I would never ask you to come back. I am so sorry." Catherine apologized, feeling guilty for her actions. She should never pull any strings to force Grissom to take up this case.

Grissom took a deep breath, calming himself as much as possible. He did not want to flare up. "Catherine. Can we talk later? I need to find Archie now." He said. Catherine relinquished her tight hold and frowned. "Thanks," Grissom mumbled before heading towards Archie lab.

"Archie, I need your help." He said as he walked into the lab and placed his iPhone onto Archie's table. The iPhone was a gift from Ursula a few months ago. She got it as a gift for him after their seminar. He didn't accept it initially however his old phone was misplaced, and he had no other choices but to accept it. Despite the numerous functions available in the smartphone, he had only used two functions which were to call and sending and receiving messages. He was never a fan of smartphones.

"Check my phone and email accounts for any abnormality." He suspected that Ursula had something to do with the missing emails and calls he never received from Sara.

* * *

April 2015

Ursula could not contain her anger when she saw Grissom's hands wrapped protectively around Sara's shoulders and led her into his room.

She slammed the door behind her and stomped towards the study table which doubled up as her vanity table crossly.

"That bitch!" Ursula screamed and swept her expensive skincare and cosmetic onto the floor. They landed with a soft thud on the carpeted floor.

Her nostrils flared as she took huge gulps of air. "This isn't a time to be angry. I need to calm down. Gil Grissom is mine." She kicked her bottles of skincare and they rolled under the bed.

When she first saw Gil Grissom, she knew that she had to have him. He was different. He was smart and charismatic. He was oblivious to her charms and seductions. He did not show any interest when she wore a particularly low cut dress which showed off her full breasts. It angered yet fascinated her when her seducing did not work out. He maintained a professional distance when they worked together.

"She's such a plain jane." Ursula grunted. She did not understand why Grissom did not fall for her. She was certain she was prettier and younger than Sara. She was smart too. She graduated with great honors for her Ph.D. She had both looks and brains.

She freed her bathrobe and let it dropped to the floor. She held her firm breasts in her hand and examined. "These look magnificent. Why didn't he fall for them?" She grumbled. She flicked her finger across the stiff peaks and moaned.

She needed to rid Sara out of Grissom's life once and for all. She reached for her cellphone and called the lab manager who was smitten with her.

"Derrick, I need your help," she purred sexily. Derrick, the lab manager, listened obediently to her plans.

* * *

April 2015

"Let me get you a warm towel," Grissom said. He patted Sara's shoulder gently and nudged her further into the room.

Sara stood awkwardly in the room, feeling dazed. She felt useless and ashamed. She hated her foolishness for leading Mark on and allowing him to take advantage of her vulnerability. She was supposed to be a strong woman. She survived her traumatic childhood, Ronald Basderic, her miscarriages and her divorce.

"I am strong," Sara whispered to herself, though not convinced.

Tears spilled out from her eyes. "I am not strong," she trembled. She felt exhausted, putting on a fake, strong front.

"You're the strongest woman I ever met," Grissom wrapped his arms around Sara's torso, and whispered softly into Sara's ears.

"I am not. I want someone to protect me, to love me, and to tell me everything will be all right. I am tired of being strong," Sara broke down.

"It's okay. It's okay. Everything will be okay." Grissom planted a kiss on the top of Sara's head.

"I missed our babies, and us. You blamed me for miscarrying them." She said, sadly.

Grissom tightened his hold. He swallowed the lump that was lodged in his throat. He did blame Sara for not being more careful and not putting their babies before her job. Her miscarriages were indeed the reason why they drifted apart.

"I did." Grissom replied truthfully. "I didn't understand how could you prioritize our babies before the job that suffocated you. I gave up my career, my stability, my friends, and my everything just to be with you. It took courage to uproot myself for you. Forgive me for not understanding how quick you jumped at the chance of returning to Vegas to be a CSI again. It seemed that I failed to make you happy, thus, you ran away from me. I needed you by my side too. When you left, I recurring nightmare where Warrick blamed me for his death. I woke up, drenched in cold sweat. When I reached over to your side, I felt coldness… and emptiness."

Sara's body stiffened when she heard Grissom's truthful reply. "I am afraid that being Mrs. Grissom wasn't enough for you. Terri Miller… Lady Heather… they were all smart and pretty. They fascinated you. I am just a plain Jane. I felt inadequate in comparison. I am not good enough for you. I don't belong in your world."

"You're perfect to me. Sara. I love you because of your personality, your tenacity and your ability to empathize. You taught me there are things other than work to look forward to." Grissom held her face in his palms and wiped the traces of tear off her face.

Sara shook her head, unable to believe what Grissom had just said. "You left me without a reason." Sara stood up abruptly and paced around the room. She felt suffocated with Grissom around her again. She felt vulnerable because she knew he had the power over her. He could hurt her easily and she was tired of getting hurt.

"It wasn't without a reason, Sara." Grissom bristled.

"The reason was you."

"Don't tell me that your decision to divorce me was because it was of the best interest for me!" Sara yelled.

* * *

I apologize for disappearing for so long. I hope that this isn't too rusty. I will focus on this first, and try for a weekly/bi-weekly update if my schedule permits. :) Thanks for being here. I'm sorry I could not reply to personal messages now, I try to reply to them asap. :) Thanks!


	14. Chapter 14

All About Your Heart

-Chapter 13-

* * *

April 2015

Grissom rubbed his temples, feeling the onset of a migraine. His heart pinched, seeing how vulnerable and miserable Sara was. He regretted his decision. He thought that the decision of letting Sara go was noble and much needed. Their relationship was withering. The constant absence of him had taken its toll on their relationship. Sara's miscarriages triggered him to withdraw from her. He placed a distance between them. His jet-setting lifestyle was his choice to avoid being with Sara. He traveled to remote places where cell phone reception was poor to avoid talking. There always a reason why he could not reply her email or skype.

He resent his cowardice but he did not want to face the status of the relationship. He knew how much effort she put in to save their marriage. Sara had offered to work on a part-time basis, splitting her time between Las Vegas and wherever he was in half. She wanted to spend time with him. He rejected, citing Paris as an excuse. They fought over this. He told her she won't be satisfied to just being Mrs. Grissom. She needed a place where she could shine and the lab was where she should be. She argued that she could get a research position in his project. He pointed out that she was not qualified enough to be considered. It hurt her pride and ego. She gave up on the idea. He knew that it was her attempt to bridge their gap. He wasn't willing to share his safe place with her.

He knew he was being selfish. He could not let her in but he was unwilling to let her go. He loved Sara without a doubt but he was unable to forgive her fully for negligent for miscarrying their babies. He understood that it was not entirely Sara's fault. He felt relief when he blamed the death on her.

"Letting you go was my most difficult decision," Grissom whispered. Sara shook her head, unable to believe what he had just said.

"You're a selfish bastard! You let me go because it was the easiest way out." Sara spewed angrily.

"NO!" he felt that his pulse rising and his pitch climbed a few notches.

"I thought that you were seeing someone else. I received a photo of you and a letter." Grissom sighed sadly. It was what that propelled him into the decision to end their marriage.

"Ronald Basderic sent me a letter stating how I was holding you back and how unhappy you were with me," Grissom said.

Sara trembled with fear at the mention Ronald Basderic. He almost ruined her life.

Grissom pulled Sara towards him and into an embrace. "I'm here. He could not hurt you anymore." He whispered and rubbed small circles on her back. She broke down and cried.

"He almost ruined me," Sara sobbed. "He discredited me at work. He set me up for murder."

"I know." Grissom soothed her, tightened his hold on Sara. Sara looked up, her eyes inquisitive and puzzled. She did not tell him about what had happened between Ronald Basderic and her after their separation. He had made it clear that she was not welcomed in his life. There were times where she was weak and drunk, she was tempted to call him but she refrained. She was afraid of his rejection.

 _"_ _Sara, it will be good if we stop contacting each other." He stated clearly over the phone. "If I am always readily available, you will not be able to move on."_

 _Sara laughed. "You're never readily available, Grissom. I know what to do. Even we meet the next time, we will treat other as a stranger." She hung up before he could hear the sobs that escaped._

 _She found herself in a bar that night. She could not remember how many drinks she downed. She liked the numbness and the throat burning sensation. She found the loud music soothing. She sat a corner, enjoying her whiskey. She people-watched. The young girls, barely in their twenties, searching for an identity, dancing to the music. She once their age. She did not remember bar-hopping or clubbing. She dedicated her early twenties to education. She did not have fun. She was studious and serious. She had to show her professors she was credible despite her young age. Her professors despite praising her capabilities chose a guy over her for the teaching assistant position._

 _She sought validation, many times from the wrong person. One such person was Gil Grissom. She wanted him to see her as an equal. She wanted him to notice her and praised her work. It never came. He was particularly strict towards her, berating her for her empathy towards victims. The compliments for Warrick, Nick, and even Greg rolled off his tongue easily. He had respect for Sofia Curtis but he disregarded her._

 _She was bitter and resentful but whenever he dangled a carrot in front of her, she would jump at the chance to prove herself to him._

 _When they were in a relationship, she had to share him with Lady Heather. He knew she was sensitive towards her but it did not deter him from reaching out to her. He said Heather was a friend, in fact, a dear friend. He could not bear seeing her spiraling out of control. He stayed with her the whole night when she attempted suicide. She was jealous of what they had. Grissom shared his thoughts with Lady Heather freely but never with her. She suspected that if Lady Heather had not urged him to pursue her, he would never have done so._

 _She finished her whiskey with one gulp, wincing as her throat burned. She threw her credit card onto the counter. She felt tipsy enough to fall asleep. It would be a restless sleep but it was at least some rest._

 _"_ _Hey," a guy hovered around her and wrapped his hands around her shoulders. "Let me get you a drink." He ordered a vodka for her. "Taylor Wynard," he introduced himself, flashing a megawatt, dazzling smile. He pushed the vodka towards her and winked._

 _Sara smiled and shook her head. She lifted her left hand and pointed to her wedding band. "I am married." She slid off the chair as the bartender passed her the bill and credit card. She knew it was ironic to state that she was married when her marriage was on a verge of breaking._

 _"_ _Hey, just one drink. I saw how you are drowning your sorrows with alcohol_. _It pained me seeing you, a gorgeous lady, alone and miserable." Taylor leaned in, invading Sara's personal space. "I am not looking for a hookup. I am genuinely concerned." Taylor flashed another smile._

 _"_ _One drink and I walk you to the car." Taylor shrugged his shoulders. Sara sighed, knowing that if he would let her go if she did not drink. She grabbed the glass of vodka and wolfed it down. She winced and slammed the glass down._

 _"_ _Done."_

 _Her head spun as the ball of her foot touched the group. She wobbled. Taylor caught hold of her as she almost fell to the ground._

 _"_ _I will walk you to your car." Taylor wrapped his hand around her slender waist. Sara was unable to protest as she was nauseous and weak._

"How did you know?" Sara asked.

"Brass." He said simply. Brass filled him in. He told him about Ronald Basderic and he set Sara up for murder.

"I thought you had canceled the dinner plan and the hotel stay."

"I didn't. I was holding on to a sliver of hope that you would come. You said you didn't want me to spend my birthday alone and you would come." Sara smiled weakly. Her hopes were dashed when she sat in the crowded restaurant alone.

"I received an email from you with saying that you had other plans for your birthday. Bastard," Grissom swore, realizing it was a ploy by Ronald Basderic.

"My email was hacked. Most of the emails were not sent by me. Ronald Basderic felt that I was responsible for Edie's death and he hated that I held him responsible." Sara shivered.

"I wanted to come but you said you would prefer that I stayed away."

"I didn't!" Sara hollered. "I wanted you. Do you know how depressed I was in the crowded restaurant? You just sent an SMS to me wishing me a happy birthday. I wanted you to be there physically."

"Sara… I was led to believe you didn't want me in your life. The photos of you kissing another guy were proof that you didn't want me." Grissom cried.

"You trust the photos. You are a coward! Why didn't you confront me?"

Sara struggled and broke free from Grissom hug.

"I am scared. Sara."

"What are you afraid of?" Sara challenged.

"Of you saying that I am too old, too broken for you." Grissom heaved a sigh.

* * *

Thank you.


	15. Chapter 15

All About Your Heart

\- Chapter 14 -

* * *

September 2015

Grissom paced around the small office Archie was based in, hovering over Archie's shoulder whenever the computer made some sounds. His looming presence rattled Archie and he was unable to concentrate on the tasks Grissom gave him. Archie looked up and met Grissom's worrisome eyes.

"Archie, are you done?" Grissom asked, sighing as Archie gently shook his head.

"How about you give me 30 minutes and I should be done by then. Get a cup of coffee. I can't focus with you checking my progress every five seconds." Archie deadpanned. He could not concentrate with Grissom constantly breathing down his neck.

"Archie, I know this is not within your scope of work but it's really important to me. I want to know if there were anything wrong with my email accounts and phone." Grissom smiled weakly and squeezed Archie's shoulder.

"Grissom, I understand. I found something suspicious but I would like to confirm. Just give me 30 minutes."

Grissom nodded, gave the computer a last look, and walked out of the room. He headed for the vending machine near the corner and bought himself a cup of coffee. He drank it and spitted it out immediately. He cut his addiction to coffee when he left CSI. He did not need coffee to pull him through the night after leaving CSI. He envisioned a life with Sara. A life without constant deaths.

"I still have some blue mountain," Greg said, moving to the bench and sat down.

"I'm sorry." Greg apologized. Grissom nodded without saying anything.

"It's just that I am on Sara's side." Greg continued.

"Greg, trust me, I am thankful that you're so protective of Sara." Grissom patted Greg's back. He understood Greg's hostility towards him. Back when Sara left Las Vegas, he had experienced it. He was happy that Sara had such a loyal friend. When everyone was apprehensive of Sara at first, Greg was the only one who welcomed her with open arms.

"I am sorry for being a jerk towards you. I saw how broken she was when I picked her up at the clinic. She was crying and apologizing for wanting to end the life inside of her. She blamed herself for harboring a thought to kill the life in her. She was broken, Grissom." Greg met Grissom's eyes and sighed.

"You still think that Sara's baby isn't yours." Greg clenched both of his fists to control his anger.

Grissom shook his head, "it's still a shock to me. But, she wanted to have an abortion?"

Greg nodded, "but she could not go through with it. She contacted you but there's a woman who told her that you didn't want to acknowledge your child. She called her baby a bastard child."

"I didn't receive any calls from Sara." Grissom was puzzled. He was upset when he returned to the hotel and found Sara gone. Ursula told him that Sara left in a hurried and asked her to inform him never to contact again. Ursula told him Sara regretted the night they spent together.

 _"_ _She's gone, Gilbert," Ursula hugged Grissom from behind. "I caught her fleeing from your room and questioned her."_

 _"_ _No. She won't leave without any notice." Grissom shrugged free from Ursula hug. He had to find Sara._

 _"_ _Gilbert. She's gone. She left. She said you were too old for her. She regretted spending the night with you," Ursula said with an evil glint in her eyes._

 _His airway constricted and he felt that someone just punched him in the guts._

 _"_ _She asked you to let her free. She enjoyed her singlehood now. Last night was a mistake. She wasn't thinking properly. She felt jealous because of me. She thought that we were in a relationship thus she acted vulnerable to get your attention. 'I regretted fucking him' were her exact words." Ursula lied._

 _Grissom laughed shrilly. He thought they made love last night but to her, it was just fucking._

"Damn it." Grissom cursed. He felt he was manipulated by Ursula. If he had been calmer, he would find loopholes in Ursula explanation. He trusted Ursula over Sara. Probably they were right, he didn't deserve Sara. He had difficulty trusting Sara. He doubted her love for him. He had his skepticism for her ability. He gave the promotion to Nick instead of Sara despite knowing that she was the better choice.

"Grissom, your phone and email was being monitored." Archie found him and passed him a file. "First, all your phone calls were being screened. Any calls from Sara were redirected to Ursula Cohen. Your emails were being monitored and only whitelisted emails were sent to you. I managed to retrieve some emails that were still residing in the server from Sara and your replies. Quite a few were deleted. Perhaps you would like to look at them. I printed them for you. It's inside the file." He signalled for Greg to leave Grissom alone.

"You can use my office. Hodges was prohibited from entering." Archie told Grissom.

Grissom thanked him and made his way to Archie's office. He locked the door to avoid any disturbance.

He thumbed through the report and read the emails Sara sent and supposedly his replies.

 _To: Grissom_

 _From: Sara_

 _Subject: Please call me._

 _Grissom,_

 _It seemed that you're putting me to voicemails._

 _Can you please call me?_

 _Sara._

 _To: Sara_

 _From: Grissom_

 _Subject: RE: Please call me._

 _Sara,_

 _Haven't I made myself clear that your presence is not welcome in my life?_

 _I hope this will be the last email I received from you._

 _Grissom._

 _From: Sara_

 _To: Grissom_

 _Subject: RE: Please call me._

 _Grissom,_

 _Please. I beg you to call me. It is not a matter that I can tell you over email. It will be best if we could meet._

 _Sara._

 _To: Sara_

 _From: Grissom_

 _Subject: RE: Please call me._

 _Sara,_

 _You're not welcome in my life._

 _I believed Ursula had conveyed my message that the night was a mistake for me._

 _Grissom._

 _From: Sara_

 _To: Grissom_

 _Subject: RE: Please call me._

 _I'm pregnant. Please call me. I am scared._

 _Sara._

 _From: Sara_

 _To: Grissom_

 _Subject: RE: Please call me._

 _Please call me. I am afraid._

 _Sara._

 _To: Sara_

 _From: Grissom_

 _Subject: RE: Please call me._

 _You still don't get the hint after not replying your emails._

 _I don't believe the child is mine._

 _You could get an abortion if you want._

 _Grissom._

 _From: Sara_

 _To: Grissom_

 _Subject: RE: Please call me._

 _The baby is yours._

 _Sara._

 _From: Sara_

 _To: Grissom_

 _Subject: RE: Please call me._

 _You had Ursula answered my call. You told me that our baby is a bastard child. How cruel could you get?_

 _I am not treating my baby as a pawn to get you back. This will be the last time I am emailing you._

 _I lost faith in you._

 _Sara._

* * *

"Hi, baby." Sara caressed her bump. "How're you feeling today?" She smiled as she felt a kick. "I love you so much."

Brass leaned against the door frame, not wanting to disturb the peaceful moment, watching Sara talking to her baby. "Hey Brass," Sara called when she caught a glimpse of the shadow.

"The baby is moving. Do you want to feel it?" Sara asked. Brass was hesitant. "Come on, put your hand here." Sara invited and urged him over. He pressed his hand down gently and was instantly amazed.

"Wow." Brass exclaimed. "It's amazing." Sara chuckled at Brass's astonished expression. "A few more months, she won't have the space to move around anymore."

Sara grinned and pointed to her bump. "It's a girl. My OB told me that I am expecting a girl last scan. Can you help me get my sling bag?" Brass obliged and passed Sara her bag. She took out a notebook and passed it to Brass. "These are her scans."

Brass took the notebook from Sara and looked at each scan intently. "I wrote some of my thoughts in it too. Like a few weeks ago, she was craving for Thai food. Greg took Morgan and me out for Thai. He found one which served Thai vegetarian food."

They continued talking, mostly Sara telling Brass every quirk and craving she had after she was expecting.

Sara yawned and felt her eyelids grew heavier. "You need to sleep." Brass chuckled and tucked Sara in. "You're like the father I never had," Sara mumbled before drifting into a sleep.

"Sleep tight, Sara." Brass switched off the light and closed the door.

"How's she?" Grissom asked when he saw Brass walked out of the bedroom. "Sleeping," replied curtly.

"I need to see her." Grissom pleaded. He needed to talk to her. He wanted to explain what had transpired. He had to tell her that those phone calls and emails were not his intentions.

"No. Grissom. You had your chance. Leave while I am still polite towards you. I betrayed her trust when I told you about Ronald Basderic yet you did nothing but to hurt her more." Brass was agitated and fuming.

"Please, let me talk to her," Grissom begged.

"Grissom, you had your chance and you blew it. Leave. I don't want her to find you here, thinking I betrayed her trust again." Brass stood up and walked to the door. He opened it and pointed outside.

"I love her, Brass."

"Don't tell me that. Tell Sara that but you're too late. You're always stingy about your love for her." Brass snapped irately and pushed Grissom out. He slammed the door on Grissom. He did not want to be hostile but between Grissom and Sara, he had chosen to place his loyalty with Sara.

Grissom stood outside, absolutely stunned with his friend's behavior. But he knew he deserved this treatment.

* * *

Thanks for reading and leaving a review... I hope that I can go for a weekly update. :)

I hope to see more of you back with me.


	16. Chapter 16

-Chapter 15-

I hope this reads fine. Thanks for the support. :) I can wrap this up in a few more chapters.

* * *

April 2015

"Of you saying that I am too old, too broken for you." Grissom heaved a sigh. Their huge differences had always been a factor for his insecurity. It was what prevented him to pursue a relationship with her in the earlier days. Besides his age, his genetic disorder refrained him from committing to her. Despite Catherine's relentless encouragement to pursue a relationship with Sara, he did not dare to make a move. He knew he had to set her free but he could not. Despite knowing that she had a brighter future with the FBI, he refused to let her go. He pulled her back to his side with a pot of plant. He did not give her the validations she wanted and needed because he was afraid once she gained confidence, she would leave for greener pastures.

"Grissom, our age gap is never a problem for me. I love you for who you are. When I walked into your conference session, I was enthralled. Your wittiness, your passion, and your eyes were what attracted me. You're the one who was troubled by our age gap." Sara was heartbroken, unable to understand why Grissom was fixated about their age gap. She was never bothered about their age gap but he was. He was obsessed with the idea that she should find someone younger, stronger and healthier. He did not understand only he could fill the void in her heart. He was the only one who could make her happy. It hurt when he pushed her away for a ridiculous reason.

"You made me happy, Grissom. Your age was never a factor." Sara said, remembering the time when Grissom stated that she made him happy. "But now, you brought nothing but sadness." Sara sighed.

"Remember Vincent Lurie?" Grissom asked, avoiding her eyes.

Sara nodded. "I remembered." How could she forget Vincent Lurie? Grissom did not allow her to participate in the investigation, delegating the menial tasks to her. Catherine commented that Debbie Marlin's case clouded his judgement and objectivity. He worked triple shifts to cover every inch of Debbie's house, hoping to find any minute evidences. He brought Vincent Lurie in for interrogation. She was in the observation room, listening to their conversation. She watched Grissom confessing his insecurity and feelings for her to him. She was unable to accept that he was unwilling to risk his professional life for her. She turned to alcohol to numb herself.

"He killed Debbie and Michael because he was unable to take it when Debbie moved on from him. I am afraid I would become like him. Giving everything to you and you might just take it all and leave me." Grissom trembled. He was afraid that he would become Vincent Lurie.

"Why are you so afraid that I might leave you?" Sara sobbed, her heart pinched at Grissom's cowardice and insecurity.

"You left me when you could not cope with the deaths. You left me when I needed you the most. I was holding Warrick as his life slowly ebbed away. His blood soaked through my shirt. I begged him not to close his eyes. When help came, he was so cold. I refused to let him go." Grissom closed his eyes, as tears slowly rolled down his face.

"I asked you to leave with me but you refused!" Sara was livid. She asked him to go on a trip with her. She knew he loved Warrick and Warrick's death was a huge blow to him. She wanted to stay with him but she could not. If she had stayed, she would self-destruct.

"How could I leave when the lab was in chaos? I only requested for you to stay for a few more weeks. I just needed a few more weeks to settle the lab." Grissom breathed out heavily.

"You left me repeatedly whenever the opportunity arose. After you miscarried Aimee, you promised to stay with me to rebuild our family. Yet, you ran away. Sara, you were not the only who was hurting over Aimee's premature death." Grissom continued brokenly. "How can I be sure that you would stay with me? I am scared too, Sara."

"You blamed me for Aimee's death. You were distant, Grissom. When I needed you to hold me and encourage me, you avoided me. You came home late, stating you were needed in the school." Sara cried. "I was all alone in the house. I thought of ending my life. I sat in the bathtub filled with running water, a sharp razor on right hand. I just needed to make that cut. I was so close to ending my life. Where were you? You were at the department dinners. You hated all those social events but you went because you could not bear to be with me," Sara shuddered thinking of the dark times. She almost committed suicide but she was saved by Brass. Brass called to check up on her. They talked and he listened to her cries. His encouragement and concern stopped her from doing anything silly.

She booked the first available flight back to Las Vegas. Between Las Vegas and Grissom, Vegas seemed to be a better choice. Grissom was cold and withdrawn. She had never felt so alone before.

Grissom looked at Sara, shock evident in his eyes. "I didn't know." He swallowed the hard lump in his throat.

"Of course, you didn't know. I have to flee from that suffocating place." She left him a note to inform him that she was needed in Las Vegas. They needed someone to fill in the permanent position and she decided to take it up. She did not explain any further and he also did not ask. He told her if Vegas was where she thought she should be, she should stay there.

Sara felt exhausted suddenly. Having this conversation worn her out. "I am tired, Grissom."

"I love you, Grissom. This had never changed and will never change but I don't think I can continue having this conversation. I can't fight for our love anymore. Perhaps, this divorce would be better for us. Now I understood what you had in mind when you said leaving me was of the best interest for me." Sara embraced Grissom.

"I love you." She pressed her lips on his, lingering for a few moments before finally pulling away. She could not control her tears. He tasted her tears. His heart wrenched when he could not do anything to stop her from crying. He felt lost when they lost contact.

"Goodbye." She let go of him. Letting go, perhaps, was the best decision. Their relationship was broken beyond repair. She did not have the confidence that they can mend their relationship. She simply did not have the strength to chase after him. She could not play any more mind games.

She looked at him for one last time, remembering all his features, the cleft in his chin, his eyes and his lips.

She turned and walked towards the door. Each step was excruciating painful yet needed. With each step, she felt more relief.

"Don't leave," he whispered, caught hold of her wrist and pulled her towards him. "Please give me another chance," he begged. "We have a long road ahead of us but I believe we can conquer it all. We can go for counseling." He proposed earnestly. "I am wrapping up my work at the university. I can go back to Vegas if that is where you want to be."

Sara looked at him, hopeful yet scared, contemplating his proposition. "I don't know if I can trust you." She wanted to trust him but she was afraid. She was afraid of hurting again. Her heart was wrecked by him.

"One more chance, Sara." He kissed her forehead softly, "trust me."

He knelt, wincing as he landed on his bad knee. "The course of true love never did run smooth."

"Will you forgive me?" Grissom asked. He reached out for her left hand and felt immensely grateful when Sara was wearing their wedding ring.

Perhaps what they needed was another chance.

"I don't know what to do," Sara said and drew her hand away. She still wore her wedding ring because she did not think of putting it away. It became part of her. She felt lost without it.

"I know now, Sara. I just hope that I am not too late."

"Where is yours?" Sara asked, realizing he was not wearing his wedding ring.

He pulled out a necklace underneath his shirt. His wedding ring was on the necklace. "I kept it near my heart."


	17. Chapter 17

\- Chapter 16 -

Rating: M for some scenes. Read responsibily.

Sorry, I missed out last week update. It has been a hectic week. I hope this chapter is satisfactory. Thanks for the reviews.

* * *

 **April 2015**

"I know it'll not be an easy journey. Gaining you trust back, eradicating my insecurities, and building whatever is left of our relationship will be difficult. But I am sure we can do that," Grissom said, taking his necklace off and releasing his wedding band from the chain. He passed the ring to Sara, handing the decision to her. The decision of coming back to him should be on her own accord. He did not want to force her.

"It's up to you, Sara. If you put the ring back on my finger, we will resolve our problems together. If not, I will leave you alone." He looked straight into her eyes sincerely. He hoped that Sara would take the first choice instead of the latter.

Sara clasped his ring tightly, her lips pursed, debating if she should accept his proposal. She believed his sincerity and his regrets. She knew that their marriage ended mainly because of miscommunication. They were never master of communication. He grew up in a house of silence and she grew up in a house of violent. They never learned how to connect with others when they were young. They preferred solitary. Their peers had branded them as weirdos. They did not care about others' comments. They rather stayed home to do crossword puzzles or read than attending any social events.

Taking a deep breath, Sara regarded Grissom intently. She wanted to believe in him yet she was afraid. "Can I trust you, Grissom? I don't think I can handle another heartbreak," she said. Despite she loved him with every fiber of her being, she was hesitant about trusting him.

"I know I still love you," Sara admitted. She never doubted her love for Grissom. She knew she loved him forever. She did not dare to take the risk. "Then why are you so hesitant?" he asked sadly. He was upset that Sara doubted him.

"I don't know, Grissom. When you decided to that leaving me was of the best interests for me, I started drinking again and turned to Zolpidem to help me to sleep. That gave Basderic a chance to mess up my life." She was at perplexed by her reluctance. She wanted to give Grissom and them a chance but she was cautious.

"Grissom, when you left me, I became a disaster. I can't go through it again." She was afraid of the consequences should Grissom decided to leave her again. She could not overcome her fear.

"Please trust me," Grissom pleaded, holding his left palm to her, waiting for her decision. "I know it will not be easy, Honey, for you to trust me again. I hoped you will give us a chance."

Sara cleared her throat, "this will be the last time that I trust you." She slid the ring onto his finger. He stood up, happy and grateful, and pulled her into his embrace. "I love you, Sara. I will never hurt you," he declared.

He cupped her face in his hands, studying her face. He wiped away the tear streaks with his thumbs gently, glad that they were together again. He leaned in closer, their forehead touching together.

"I miss you so much. I love you." Grissom said without any reservation. He did not want to hold back his feelings for her. If he could, he will tell her how much he loves her every day. Sara nodded and whispered her love back for him.

"Thank you," he thanked her for giving him another chance. He leaned in closer and touched her lips with his, enjoying the moment of closeness. She opened her mouth slightly, allowing him access. She kissed him back with fervor, her hands circled his neck. She missed his taste and scent.

They only broke away from each other when the need for oxygen became overwhelming. They smiled at each other, hopeful at what the future could bring them. They were silent for several minutes, enjoying each other company.

"I need you, Sara." He said huskily. "Me too," Sara replied throatily.

It had been so long since they last made love to each other. He unzipped her body hugging dress slowly with trembling hands, slid the thin straps off her shoulder. She quivered as the dress fell to the floor, leaving her only in her black underwear. Her cheeks burned, and she kept her head low.

"Sara." Grissom lifted her chin up gently, their eyes met. She saw his desire for her, his pupils dilated, boring into hers. He pressed his warm lips to hers and tugged her closer. His hands went to her bra's clasps and unhooked it. He pulled the bra off her and dropped it to the floor.

He marveled as he cupped her breasts and stroked her erected nipples. She shivered under his touch. She let out a guttural moan as he captured a nipple into his mouth. He teased her, alternating between sucking, flicking and licking her engorged bud. Her legs turned to jelly. She grabbed onto his shoulder for support.

"Sara, Sara…" he breathed her name against her neck, "It's been so long since I had sex," Grissom said, and laid Sara down onto the bed.

Sara's eyes fluttered open in surprise. "I thought Ursula…" He shook his head and pressed a finger on her lips, not allowing her to continue. "Never. I only love you. Only you could make me happy, Honey. Sex without love is just bleak."

"Oh, Gilbert," she cried. Tears streaming down her cheeks. "Don't cry, it hurts when you cry" his heart pinched painfully. "I thought Ursula and you had a relationship. The two of you had a chemistry."

"She is just a colleague, nothing more than that. Sara, you're the only one I love." He kissed her tears away. She smiled at him, comforted by his words.

"Can I continue?" he asked. She nodded and pushed her body up. She whimpered when her sensitive nipples touched the rough material of his shirt, "I think you're overdressed." He concurred, pulled his shirt off and threw it to the floor. He gently tugged her panty off, slid it down her slim legs slowly.

Then he removed his pants, and his boxer shirt, his erection sprung free. He covered her body with his. She groaned at the contact. She missed him so much, how their body fitted each other. He trailed a path of kisses from the valley of her breasts to her mound. He pushed her legs apart. He rubbed her aching clit, then slipped two fingers inside, thrusting in and out of her. She cried out a ragged breath as his action aroused her. He pulled out his fingers suddenly and replaced it with his tongue. He alternated between sucking on her clit and penetrating her with his tongue. He sent her over the edge repeatedly.

"Gilbert, I need you now. Stop teasing!" she screamed and came at the same time as he pinched on her clit with his longer, calloused fingers. He lapped up her sweet, delectable essence. She pulled him upwards, and he kissed her on her mouth. "You tasted so good," Grissom murmured.

He wrapped her legs around his waist and entered her with a swift stroke. They both gasped at the same time. He waited, letting her adjust to his size, before thrusting. He built up a rhythm, six short strokes, then two long strokes. Her body moved to meet each of his thrust. Her muscles tightened around his shaft, urging him to push harder inside of her.

"Let yourself go," he groaned, wanting her to climax before him and she did. After her orgasm, he plunged into her a few more times before releasing himself into her.

"Don't," she whispered as he withdrew him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him down, placing a warm kiss on his cheek. "I need to feel you inside."

He complied and covered her body with his.

"We shall talk tomorrow. Tonight, we sleep. It's been a long time since I had a peaceful sleep. I can't sleep well without you." Grissom said.

* * *

So the baby's definitely Grissom.


End file.
